Not just one way to get a cat on a plane

I was brainstorming. A pet is only a pet if I declare it to be a pet. I could claim the kitty was one of the following:

A Designer Purse - He is essentially boneless. He hangs quite well off my arm and I think I could make it work. I will have my ID on my person, so they can make sure I have not changed my identity it the five minutes since it was last checked – and on this, everyone checks my license, they don’t have a list of who is supposed to be there, I could have any number of various ID things. Whatever. Back to the purse idea. Kitty, if properly sedated, could be a lovely clutch purse under my arm, or something with straps – he has very long limbs. I could tape his limbs together and make him into something sporty. He could also be a backpack or a fanny pack. The PETA freaks wouldn’t like it, but could they feel good about throwing paint on a helpless animal?

A Fun Fur collar - Kitty has acted in this capacity in the past, it was 38 degrees in my living room at the time, but it is familiar with the part. I am very cold natured.

A travel pillow - I could be a woman who “has everything” and I have a black fur travel pillow. Properly sedated, Kitty would be a natural. He’s fluffy, he’s squishy, and he’s warm. He can sleep for hours anyway, this way he could be both sleeping and working. I could just be a wacky cat person, a wacky cat person bringing her cat with her!

A Back Pack - An ergonomic back pack. I wear it on the front. It looks like a Cat because I bought it at one of those annoying teenybopper stores and this was all they had. I think its tacky as hell, but what can I do? It was on sale.

A Hat - again, easier in the winter. But, I do come from the south and I could conceivably have an odd idea of what constituteswinter.

Another Pillow - I am an Interior Designer. I am carrying this to a client. This is just the most clever thing ever? One of those “fur” throw pillows that are in the stores, never seen one in an actual residents, but they are in stores. When balled up on the couch he does achieve a certain throw pillowesque quality.

Animatronics -I could work for an up and coming toy manufacturer and I am taking a very important new technology to a toy fair. I am carrying it out in the open because it does look so real, my competitors won’t know it’s really a toy! No, I can’t show you how it works, its very hush, hush. Just be satisfied it is just a toy.

A very furry baby - Who would question the Mother of a tragically furry baby?! This is actually a very workable solution. I started off trying to swaddle the kitty, it turns out, cats don’t like being swaddled! Kitty would have preferred I carried him around in my jaws. That is not an option. I do not want to try to pass off as a bearded lady. I then tried to put baby clothes; actually I tried him out in one of my baby tees. This, to Kitty was dangerously close to swaddling and he wasn’t having it. After dragging him from behind the upstairs toilet, I went with a baby nightgown. I felt that this was a good middle ground; it tied at the bottom part and gave him a lot of room for his hind end. I thought this would be our solution. After I dragged the cat from under the clothes dryer in the basement, I thought about a Snuggly – a bit to close to swaddly.

The doctors said I will recover from the blood loss and that eventually Kitty will come out from behind the refrigerator.