Stuffing


Dear Feeder,

No!getawayfromthat eats my toys. No!getawayfromthat smells funny and leaves its fur on my things. No!getawayfromthat leaves dirt wherever it goes and No!getawayfromthat has tried to touch me. I think you know by know how I feel about No!getawayfromthat. You took No!getawayfromthat with you when you left me and then you came back with out No!getawayfromthat and then No!getawayfromthat came back. No!getawayfromthat smelled like not here. I remember not here. I liked not here and you took No!getawayfromthat to not here. No!getawayfromthat makes too much noise. No!getawayfromthat makes the house smell. No!getawayfromthat has used the floor like a litter box.. I do not use the floor. I have standards. I love you.


Sincerely,
Tex

P.S. – No!getawayfromthat chews on your putthatdownnow! and then hides them it was No!getawayfromthat not me who put your Thatisnotyours! behind the nonogetdownoffoff.




Dear Superduperbestpersonever,

The Not Dog was mean to me. The Not Dog has made scary sounds and moved in an unnaturally fast, way too quite way. I was sad. Not Dog can do things that are not Doggy at all. Not Dog can fly. Not Dog can make itself bigger and with more fur. I don’t know where Not Dog gets biggerness or the extra fur. Not Dog is a very sneaky Not Dog. Not Dog makes me sad. When I get sad I want to be close to you. You are not always here. Your Putthatdownnow! are always here. I am not hurting the Putthatdownnow, they smell like being close to you. And I want to be close to you. I love you. The Not Dog says it Loves you. Not Dog lies.


P.S. – Not Dog put the No!thatisnotyours behind the No!Nogetdownoffoff, not me. I love you.



Whatever. You know? Somebody chewed up my electric bill. Someone left material in my basement. If Somebody and Someone weren’t so damn cute – I would live alone.

You may ask yourself? I wonder what the weather is like in The Dianaverse? It’s raining. It’s raining. Pick any day and I would bet that it was raining, had rained or was just about to rain. I think my kitchen floor was a whitish shade . Now its s grayish,redishy dirt color. Dog had white socks. Dog now plays for the Red Socks. She is filthy. If I don’t put her outside she goes bananas and makes me crazy. She ends up in her box for her own protection. If I let her go outside she gets filthy and ends up in the box for my houses protection. Poor dirty baby.

Since having both dog and kitty I have noticed something. If I have to tell the dog to stop doing somehting, dog will usually at least look up before going back to whatever it is she's destroying , then if I persist in wanting her to stop, she runs with the thing and wants to play chase. I will eventully, get it back. Kitty will not stop whatever he's doing. No amount of starteling, shouting or rubber coasters pitched in his direction will stop him from his project. Kitty doesn't play chase and once he's had something, I don't get it back.


God wanted me to go to church earlier yesturday. I went later and got caught in a downpour. The pockets of my Rain Coat were full of water. I stood so I would have to sit in my soaking jeans for an hour. Much Joy.

I just finished watching High Fidelity. I didn’t remember it being a 90-minute John Cusack monologue, but it kind of was. And why does he want to work with Lily Taylor from I Shot Andy Warhol I mean she’s okay, but I want more warning that she’s going to pop up. She bugs. She bugged me in Say Anything too. I do not need to be bugged when I’m trying to watch John Cusack be all John Cusack-y! She gets in the way of the greater Cusackness and that’s just wrong.

Anyway. It’s raining. Again.