Wetworks


I went into my backyard. It’s been awhile. I avoid it. It’s not pretty. It has a flowering tree and some iris plants that grudgingly bloom. But it’s not pretty. I haven’t mowed back there since I broke the lawn mower so now it’s both muddy and over grown. Not Pretty. Very Natural.

So. I went back there. I got a dollar store spa mud treatment and I wasn’t past the gate. I also got West Nile Virus.

It’s wet. All the Time. And not in a good “its good for the grass” way either. It’s just gross.

But I had a plan.

WETLAND RATING WORKSHEET

Wetland Location

On pond or lake _____
On perennial stream____
On Intermittent stream_____
With Interstream divide_____
Other __________________


Hmm. On pond or lake? No can’t say that. I have pretty good drainage and this isn’t about the basement. Although, I may have to go with the flooded basement as pond and the back yard does lay ajasant to the basement. It’s an idea worth keeping in mind.

Perennial Stream Well. The water does stream down the basement steps perennially and been raining for freakin’ months, so yes there is a perennial stream. Damn it. And, with the A/C running all the damn time, I have all kinds of streams in the yard. Check.

Intermittent Stream - Aha! During a good rain, and it has to be a good rain (as opposed to a bad rain, we have streamage! Wetlands aren’t always wet; they are really Damplands most of the time anyway. So yeah. And, when I think about, Dogger leaves little streams there as well. So. Check.

Soil Series

Predominantly organic (humus, muck or peat) ________
Predominantly mineral ( non-sandy)______
Predominantly sandy________________

I don’t know what humus is. I thought it was a kind of food. Not a kind of food I eat, but I thought it was a food item. Live and learn.

Muck. I know from Muck! Check, check, check!

Peat. No. If I had peat I would burn it in the winter and save money. No peat for me. Damn it.

Sand, sandiness no. No sand. I did have a lot of sand left in my shoes after vacation but I think most of it ended up in my bed. Because I love grit.


Hydraulic Factors

Steep topography __________
Ditched or Channeled_________
Total riparian wetland width >100 feet ______


Okay. The hell? Riparian? Again I think I could use the stairs for the steepness factor. I have been advised to make a channel to help with the A/C water feature I have going on. But I haven’t yet. It’s been raining for weeks. I’m going to have to go with door number three, Total Riparian Wetland. I don’t know what it is and I bet that they don’t either. It’s not even a real word.


Adjacent land use (with in one half mile upstream, upslope or radius)

Forested, natural vegetation________
Agriculture, urban/suburban________
Impervious surface______________

I have the one tree. My neighbor in back of me has a Huge Tree. Gigantic. It’s not mine but someday it’s going to fall on my house. So, yes forested. The nice neighbors grow vegetables, so agriculture use and I have weeds and it’s urban. I’m seeing all kinds of positives. Impervious surface! I could just pave the son of a bitch and still score Wetlands! The hell?

Dominant Vegetation

1._____________
2.______________
3.______________


Patchy Grass. Seedlings, dead limbs from Gigantic Tree. Maybe some fungus. Ivy! There is Ivy. I don’t think it’s poisonous. Dog did get a rash, but. Hmm, are there any protected, endangered poison ivy?

Flooding and Wetness

Semi-Permanently to permanently flooded? _______
Seasonally flooded or inundated?______________
Intermittently flooded or temporary surface water?_______
No Evidence of flooding or surface water?_____________


Give me a freaking break.


Tomorrow – things that according to the State of North Carolina, live in real live grant producing wetlands v. things that live in my sodden back yard. If I put poison out for it, does that make it endangered?


Watching – The Ref
Watched – the Denis Leary Roast
Loving – Denis Leary.