In-jeans-tous


It is time for new jeans. The current pair has a hole in the knee and they are starting to be too raggy to wear to Mass. I’m beginning to look like a street person coming in to mooch the A/C. I don’t want to wear them to work anymore either. Last week someone asked if what color I was painting my office.

The problem with the whole getting new jeans thing is that most places won’t let me mow their lawn or bath their dog in trade.

The good thing about jeans is that they sell them everywhere. You can almost buy jeans at the gas station. So finding them won’t be a problem.

It hasn’t been so long since I last bought new jeans, I am aware that there is a huge variety of choices. I don’t want choices. I am not buying jeans to suit my moods, no “mood” jeans for me. I want jeans I’m not trying to make a fashion statement. The good thing is when you get to my, um, age the designers hardly think that buyers over 13 even have minds, much less mouths, they don’t expect you have the mind to make statements with your clothes or actually, if you must make such statements , they prefer you don’t wear their clothes while you do it.

We are supposed to be old enough to make our statements ourselves. We aren’t supposed to be hiding behind out fashion choices to make our statements for us. We are supposed to be either beyond statement making or such loud mouths we walk around buck naked for our causes.

This however, is not getting me into new jeans.

So where to buy them. The last ones came from The Gap. I am poorer now. I can not fall into the Gap unless they are having a very good sale. Also, there are no Gaps in my neighborhood.

You can buy hair my neighborhood or if you have cash you can buy barbeque on any corner or if you have a lot of cash you can buy crack or a whore or a crack whore in my neighborhood . You can not buy jeans in my neighborhood – because ya know, poor people don’t need clothes. Or books. Or restaurants. Or coffee. Or movie theatres . Or video rentals. Or home improvement stores. Or Pet Stuff stores. Or furniture not wrapped in plastic and bought at the same corner you buy your BBQ . Or as of days from now, Drug Stores either, cause the poor old people and little sick children can just totter down the road, cause the harder it is for them to get their medications, the faster they don't need medications anymore. Kerr Drugs felt bad for their their investors, poor, wittle investor-westers! helping to prop up a failing store (read not very profitable) instead, this neighborhood needs fried chicken places (four!) , low end groceries with out pharmacies, pawn shops, fake bank check cashing places, discount beauty supply stores, bail bonds, bargain basement lawyers, store front vanity churches, used tire stores, and who can have too many SROs! (single room occupancies) We don’t need the stuff everyone else has . Nah, we like taking field trips to the great white north (of town) to do those things. Why shouldn’t my neighbors, my neighborhood be able to live and shop in our own damn neighborhood, why should we have to drive miles out of our way to get anything? we don’t even live in an actual "bad" neighborhood. Why is it that there is nothing here? I wonder is there too much of the ‘hood in my neighborhood. One can only imagine???

Anyway

I need to buy new jeans. I like Old Navy but I can’t wear their jeans because I have all ready gone through puberty and I do not have an eating disorder. I am also not eleven. Bummer.

The we have The Gap, again, unless I fall into a sale, not going to happen. Well, unless I find a Gap. I could check out Target, but that way lies other stuff. I do not need more cute plastic plates or any holiday vests. So, no Target. Wal-Mart, ewww. Sams? I don’t need a 50 pounds of crushed walnuts either.

I’m going to have to go to The Mall. I hate the mall. All those things just sitting there all pretty and new. All those things I really need. All on sale! Or more or less on sale. Have I mentioned that waiting 8 months for a top to go on 75 percent off can take the bloom off the rose?

Now I have a project. Project Buy New Jeans Still Have Enough Left Over To Get Through Month.