One Sick Puppy




Scratchscatchscratch Dogger, stop it. Scratchscratchscatch Stop it!, here have a cookie! No! Stop itching My Dog Has Fleas. A lot of fleas, enough that if you sit right down next to her, you can see an odd flea, fleeing. It’s a good thing I got a new prescription when I did, cause I wouldn’t want to miss getting to see stuff like this.

There was some left over medicated dog shampoo from the last dermatological mishap and I started to bath her with that. Cue the sounds of tiny high pitched cries as fleas jumped to their deaths. I thought that a few baths with this stuff should do the trick. Scratchscratchscatch.

I wasn’t really trying to ignore her discomfort. It’s just that every time she gets little uncomfortable I get a lot poorer. I have a vet that thinks all her clients are people with good jobs and designer pets who go to her practice because it’s all about treatment options and dog dialysis and operating on Fidos pancreas. I went there initially because it was close to my apartment and Kitty had just worn out his welcome at the first place I went. I had a cat and I needed a vet. A vet that didn’t tell me I couldn’t come back unless I let them tranq Kitty into oblivion for a rabies shot! I needed a vet.

Last summer when Dogger and I had to visit Vetastic just before vacation. She confused me with someone who could pay hundreds of dollars for an itchy dog. When I told her I wanted her to keep in mind that my dog has in theory her very own DNR order, she looked at me like a dog abuser and told me she wanted to run a lot of very expensive tests and labs and other pricey vet things that were the patient me? I wouldn’t be getting even with insurance. I was like, this isn’t Animal Planet and we aren’t on Emergency Vets and unlike EV, they don’t offer payment plans.

And ya know what those expensive tests showed last summer? Nothing, bupkis. It showed that she was itchy.


So I go back with my itchy dog.

This time I score another vet. A vet while she is writing me a prescription for an (expensive, natch) antibiotic also suggested I go buy some over the counter benodryl and give the dog an oat meal bath. Saved me about $50.

No pricey tests, no labs. This time there were visible fleas, which helped a bit. But. So this time, no medicated shampoo but she did give me some topical spray for the itchiest areas. Dogger hates this spray, but if I corner her in her crate, she can't get away and I get a little bit of a contact high, one script for antibiotics and an order for 50 mgs of benodryl twice a day. I asked the vet if this wasn’t going to make her drowsy? I take 50 mg and it knocks me out and I weigh more then 90 lbs, 100 mgs a day would leave me catatonic . She said “She’s a Big dog, 90 lbs. She can handle it”. I’m thinking, a 90 lb sombulent dog? What am I supposed to do with her then? Use her for an ottoman? How are we going to go to Puppy School if she’s unconscious? - Why yes, we have been working very hard on Stay. See? She's staying like a champ! Good Girl! Yup. She won't move, she's very obedient I guess if she isn’t awake she isn’t going to be chewing my shoes.