Independence Day

Monday I kept reminding myself I had to go to the vet after work and pick up another month of Doggers’ heart worm preventive. That was the plan. It was a perfect walk day. Sigh. It was also a perfect day to get stuck in traffic and have to spend $1.61 a gallon for gas so I could make it to the vet before it closed. It’s quite a drive to the vets. I should have got a soda at the gas station.

I get to the vetastics’, Oh, look their open till 5:30. Fine, hurried for nothing. I could have bought a coke. I wander in, gaze at the lovely aquarium, designer cat tents, macrobiotic dog treats and back issues of Architectural Digest. Sigh . I go up to the for want of a better term, nurses station and wait for one of the scrub clad girls to notice I was there. Cough

Still standing there. Ack, Ack.

Yep. Still here. Hack, Ack, Gasp.

Finally, Chrissi/Cassi/Cathi is alerted by my by now convulsive coughing. “Hi, How I can I help you?”. I give her my CV and she punches something into her hidden monitor and says “Mmmm, Dogger needs a heartworm test. She should have had one in August! I’m surprised that we kept letting you have the Heart Guard™”. She narrows her eyes at me as though she could figure out what sneaky business I was up to and how I have been messing with them. This time, Chrissi/Cassi/Cathi wasn’t going to let me get away with it.

I looked at her. I started again. “I just need the one month, I promise I’ll bring her in later” . A lie. I’m begging like a junkie jonesing for Heart Guard™ .

Chrissi/Cassi/Cathi is standing her ground. She learned about drug seekers on TV and now there is one at her office! She should call the Animal Police! Oh, Even better Animal Planet

Maybe her brave choice could get her a gig at Alameda Animal Hospital! The Big Time! Woo-Hoo! She is not going to let me get away with this. I repeated that I needed the meds and the dog was due for her dose and I need it. Now. Before it gets any darker and dog misses her walk and gets fat.

Chrissi/Cassie/Cathi suggests that I make an appointment. She’s standing there with her fingers poised over a hidden keyboard and she is going to will me into coming into the office and opening my wallet. I think about suggesting to her that I could just go online and bypass her and an office appointment all together. I have used the Online word with these people before and they alluded to me that I was damning my pets to an uncertain future and probably cancer if I bought my drugs online. It is not an argument worth pursuing with them.

We’re done . I walk out. Go to my car and go home. The first thing I do is find the card I got at Petsmart™ and make an appointment for Dogger.

Dogger and I go to the New Vet and get her test done , no heartworms! Go Dogger! They give her some wormer stuff which she promptly drools on her coat, I told them if they had put it under my dinning room table she would have scarfed it down immediately, and neatly. They gave her a shot that takes care of 6 months of heart worm preventive – Yay! No more trips to the vet to buy it or ordering online and risking dog cancer! Woo-hoo!

I am going to miss the back issues of Architectural Digest, but ya know, if I can get out of the vets office for what I got out of the vets office for? I’ll buy my own subscription.