Where there’s smoke there’s…


As I posted before I am going to start a job search. I made a stupid, rather sizable mistake at work that I never would have made if I wasn’t on terminal auto pilot. I don’t want to be challenged at work, I just don’t want to bore myself out of a job. I’m just boring myself to incompetence. I’m pretty damn competent when I’m not buried in paper work.

The mistake got made, I freaked out. My boss did not freak out, something that really worries me. I went back to my office and smelled smoke. I work with a lot of paper, I don’t take the smell of smoke casually. It was me. I’m so burned out I’ve turned into a fire hazard. I have to get out.

So far they aren’t talking the F Word, it’s very difficult to fire a state employee – I would have to kill some one and then miss file the corpse in order to get the bums rush. Instead, they have to document everything. They have to share it with me. They have to let me have a chance to change my ways. I could change my ways if I had full time help, or office supplies that I could work with, with out taking my life in my hands.

I want to change my job.

There is the lateral move school of thought. I could just go elsewhere in the state, keep my vacation time, seniority and benefits. I could also go another three years with out a raise.

Another State job might not even be easy to get. The job market and economy are bad and a lot of divisions are under hiring freezes. And do I want to keep working for the state? I have worked for the state and so far, I’m not doing better then I was when I worked in the private sector. But, I’m finally getting good vacation time – not that I use it, fear not being on the job less I get even further behind than I am now. I really dig the bonus time thing too, again, I don’t use the time and I would rather have money – they gave is us the time instead.
They can’t fire me but they can make me miserable. I am all ready miserable, I don’t want to imagine how bad it could get.

So.

So. I went back to Monster. Com. I tried them when I was laid off before. It wasn’t really a help. I was long distance and the jobs I was interested in weren’t the kind that would pay for me to come and interview, neither did the state for that matter. I still had a resume there and I just had to update it – while removing all reference to “Trained Chimp” and “Incompetence”

I wish I had a hard copy resume. I went through my files and found only portions of past resumes and there wasn’t one on my computer. I had this computer at the time and I worked on it on this computer so it should be here somewhere. It’s not. it may be on my parents old computer but it is no longer with us. Sigh. I found a couple of good leads but I don’t have a resume to send them.

SIGH