Ask The Answer Dogs ( and Counter – Point Kitty) Vol. 1



Hi Answer Dogs (and counter-point kitty)-

I'm having this problem, and I wonder if you can help me. My friend, call him "J" said that my shoes are out of style. I guess I just overreacted, but I kicked him in the ass with my out-of-style shoe-wearing foot. He's mad now and won't talk to me any more. I don't want to lose the friendship. What should I do??

Signed,
"But I Love my Chuck Taylor’s!"


The Answer Dogs had to ponder this question – as Winston and Bandit aren’t shoe wearers and Dogger is more of a shoe chewer, they had to study the issue before they could come to a decision.

At first the dogs were confused by the ass kicking part. For them, asses are for sniffing and not for kicking, why would you kick someone in their CV? . It took some explaining, but they finally understood the idea behind ass kicking.

“It’s something humans do when they are mad at each other!” Dogger said, “why don’t they just bite each other, its so much faster and more to the point, you annoy me, you smell wrong, I bite you, you go away, Makes more sense to me”.

“It’s not about a toy! This person had their thing insulted. The other person used a harsh voice about the persons shoe. The writer was only protecting their shoe from the harshness of the voice of the other person. The other person wanted to hurt the writers shoe, you understand that, right?” said Winston, “The writer had to defend their shoe!”

Dogger nodded, “Like when I was tasting Bandits ears? And you didn’t like it? MMmmm. Nummy ears! Where is the little dog and his ears?”

Winston throws down Dogger.

“ And you didn’t want me to?” Dogger says muffled under Winston’s chest

“Exactly” Winston says.

Finally, Bandit speaks up from under the couch.

“ You morons. Let me explain this to you in words your little brains can understand. Big Dogs, small brains! The writer has a shoe named Chuck Taylor. The other person treated Chuck Taylor like an old bone. A bone that doesn’t have much taste. The other person couldn’t understand why the writer still had the old shoe, the other person thought the writer should throw the old shoe away because -

“Thrown Away!?” Dogger interrupted, “The other person would take the writers old bone away? Just because it wasn’t a new bone! I have several old bones I play with a lot. It would make me sad if someone made them go away!”

Winston went to the window to bark at where a squirrel had been earlier. He thought he needed to go outside and bark at it some more, it might still be outside.

The dogs all thought about past squirrels.

“Exactly!” Said Bandit, after a momentary detour to Squirrelville, “The other person didn’t understand that just because the bone isn’t fresh, it doesn’t still have taste left!”.

So. They made their decision and they feel that the writer should not let the other person make them feel bad about their shoe, it is a good shoe even if it is an old shoe. All shoes are good shoes. The writer should chase the other person away from the shoes.

Counter - Point Kitty weighs in :

“Chuck Taylor’s?! Gawd. Retro is cool, vintage is cooler, a pair of 20 year old kicks are all that. But, new Chuck Taylor’s, Bah. Get with the program. Explore other foot wear options, Jimmy Choo, Manalo Blahnik… anything, the other person wasn’t being mean or trying to take away the old shoe, the other person was trying to help the writer out of a serious fashion crises! Something a real friend would do! The writer needs to say good bye to the clutter and hello! to some couture!”.