Crouching Rabbit Hidden Danger?

Every year at this time I get an email from the powers that be alerting us all that we are now entering Bunny Drive Season and the time is now to go out and pick up a bunny for the less fortunate. The powers gather the bunnies and distribute them to people at state run homes, hospitals and schools. It's very sweet. I am normally again any kind of state-sponsored sweetness, but even I can't resist the call to go and shop for a bunny.

Last year I bunny shopped endlessly. I hit every discount store, grocery store and card shop I ran across. I fondled literally dozens of stuffed bunnies. I have certain conditions under which I will buy a cute and fluffy bunny.

There can be no wire in on or about the bunny. No possible weapons! I don't want anything that could poke somebody's eye out. That would not be festive. I also want a bunny that looks like a real bunny. So that cuts out a huge percentage of Easter themed bunny rabbits. Also, no bunnies with clothes. I do make allowances for unwired scarves or ribbons or bows and if it is really, really, cute - a hat, but only on a bunny that appears to be an older bunny. There is a difference between a grown up bunny and a baby bunny. Baby bunnies have floppy ears and grown up bunnies have ears that stand up with out the help of wire! . Joan Crawford didn't have my level of wire hate.

Bunnies can also be posed in not real bunny poses, but no bunnies with books or gardening tools, again, no weapons or poked out eyes

The bunny can not have weird stuff appliquéd to it. I don't want a bunny with a rainbow or a flower sewn to it. My bunnies don't have tats. I also have a problem with bunnies with eye shadow or eyeliner. It's not nice.

This year I decided to not over think the bunny issue. I went straight for the Walmart, I know, eww. Walmart. But. I'm poor and I need a bunny. Enter Walmart.

I went right after work, after a lengthy conference with myself about the Dogger and Kitty and how this change in the routine would affect them. I could have gone home and fed and walked her and fed Kitty then gone to the store, or I could have fed and walked her and fed the Kitty and taken Dogger with me to the store, But, but, she might eat the bunny in the car on the way home, so after going back and forth on it, and going home for lunch to put Dogger out, I went with go to the store right after work.

Walmart sucks. I hate Walmart. I had to wander all over the damn store to find the stuffed rabbits. They had taken every single stuffed rabbit from all corners of the store and hidden them. I found an employee and asked where they had hid all the damn rabbits. "In The Rabbit Isle" I was told.

A whole isle of rabbits. It was like a live action water ship down. There were crouching bunnies, sleeping bunnies, bunnies at play, bunnies at pray, bunnies holding hands, bunnies playing checkers, bunnies checking their email. Every Bunny everywhere!

I even found the right Bunny. Not to cutesy, not too unnatural, no wire anywhere. I didn't even over think it. Much. I kept the chatter about what kind of message each bunny was sending to a minimum, I even kept a lid on my whole "is it too girly for a guy? Should I find a more masculine stuffed bunny?" issues. The perfect bunny. And it only took an hour and a half of searching. I'm getting better! By next year I should be able to do it over lunch.