Wax on, wax off


Events that might be called off due to threat of rain.

1. Golf Tourney
2. Picnic
3. Garden party
4. Puppy School.


That's right. Puppy School can not happen if there is a threat of rain. My Dog can not get schooled if it may rain, Dogs can't get wet, dogs are made of water-soluble products, or they are furry lighting rods, or no one has invented rain coats! Dog ownership is about going out in the rain! It's part of the dog-person contract, if it rains, you must go out in it.

Things Dog Whisperer could have done prior to me showing up to canceled Puppy School

1. Called me?
2. Called me?
3. I don't know, called me?!


I tore ass home, hustled Dogger through dinner and rushed her through her walk, broke laws to get to puppy school - not next door to me, by the way. A while away. A trip. A journey through rush hour traffic. To canciled Puppy School. The guy at the pet supply place said, "Dog Whisperer didn't call you? Hmm. He was watching the weather on the internet and it showed the rain was going to hit so he canceled, are you sure he didn't call you?"

"NO! He didn't call me! I checked even! No. He didn't call me!"

Arrrrgghhhhh.

While I was away from home and close to a grocery store I decided to go and see if there was anything I needed. I decided I needed to wax my legs. I know TMI. I am the last woman in America to experiment with this. I thought how hard can this be? How much can it hurt, I mean after all, women wax their "bikini area" all the time.

Owe! Ow!Ow! And this was just leg skin. I never realized how much of my anatomy was taken up with leg skin until I decided to peel all that skin off. Ow! And it's not like you can take a whole lot of area every time either. It's not like shaving where you get whole swaths at a time, its one little area at a time.

I watched a Friends episode where a couple of the girls waxed their legs and howled every time and one of the boys came rushing in to ward off whatever wrong doer was making the girls howl? I thought it was a Joke! It was a damn documentary. Slather, rip, howl!

The only thing not in the Friends Docudrama about leg waxing was how far away from their microwave they were, they were in a bedroom, again not somewhere that I normally think to take care of unwanted hair.. I had to wax in the kitchen because it's where my microwave lives. Kitchens are set up for your depilatory needs, you have to keep zapping the wax every few minutes or it will cool down and lose its skin peeling prowess. I don't even eat in my kitchen but there I was waxing in it. It seemed wrong. I do not beieve that Julia Childs would aprove. So there I was using my breakfast table in a way no breakfast table should be used, slathering on the sticky mess and covering it with a piece of cloth kind of thing that came with the kit and then, casually and the progressivly, less casually ripping off a layers of skin.

And other women do this to their "bikini area"? On purpose? And they pay other people to do this to them? And not as part of some kinky S/M thing? but so that they can look good in a thong?

I think if it came down to on going pain of repeatedly ripping layers of skin off or the embarrassment of having to keep my "bikini area" covered at the beach? wait, what am I worried about? I've got a great rack! I can wear pants to the freaking beach.