Disagreeing like cats and dogs


Diana Had a very long day at work so the little animals agreed to handle todays entry. Todays topic “You are What You Have Eaten”


Kitty - I own this. I am the King of mischief. There is nothing worth putting “up” beyond my ability to toss, push or throw it off to its death. I have broken things bigger than me. I have left a wake of destruction in my wake that is awesome. I make huge messes and get away with a scolding and cuddle.

Dogger - How many TV remotes have you eaten?

Kitty - I don’t eat things. I leave things shattered..

Dogger - Shattering stuff is not the same as eating stuff.

Kitty - How many times have you eaten something and been forcefully cuddled as your punishment? You eat things without knowing. You slobber on something and get yelled at and put in your box, I get moved. Cats’ know what they are destroying. Dogs destroy mindlessly.

Dogger - Mindlessly? you think for one moment I didn’t know I was chewing her favorite bra? Phhht.

Kitty - It was there and you were teething. Mindless.

Dogger - I plan what I’m going to chew.

Kitty - You’ll slobber over what is in front of you.

Dogger - Slobber? I’m not one of those slobbering breeds.

Kitty - What breed are you exactly? Tick Tock, if you don’t know...

Dogger - And you are what kind of Cat? . Is Fat an actual breed?

Kitty - I am Rubenesque.

Dogger - “Rubenesque” the fat kid who won that Talent Show? ‘Cause Kitty, you’re fat.

Kitty - Fluffy. I am Fluffy

Dogger - a couple of minutes ago you were Rubin Stoddard, now your fluffy?

Kitty - Why don’t you go gnaw on something?

Dogger - I get exercise, I walk every day. Nothing sticks to these hips. Do you have hips? Where do your legs go? Little tiny, spindly things.

Kitty - I can’t be spindly and fat.

Dogger - Your legs are spindly, your body is fat. You are a fat animal.

Kitty - How many cats do you know?

Dogger - I know you and your fat butt, I think that counts for at least two and if I count your dew laps, I know a lot of cats.

Kitty - You know a lot of cat . I am a lot of cat. And, I knock something off a shelve? I get fed. You knock something down? You get put away. Advantage Kitty.

Dogger - Fat Kitty. Fat increasingly slow Kitty. Keep knocking things to the floor. Wait. I’ve just learned to down, I’ll be down there, waiting.

Kitty - You forget Dog. Every part of me is sharp. You wait.