Fun In The Sun

After much soul searching . Is this what I really want to do? , advise gathering “Is this what you would do? , research How do I do this?. I finally took the big leap and spent Saturday in the sun staining the tiles on my front deck, my clothing, my shoes, the driveway and The Kitty.

Oh, and I got some stain on my dresser too. I went to my local do it yourself place and did it myself. It would have been nice if there would have been some one handy to help me Do It Myself, but I guess that would run counter to the whole Do It Yourself thing that they have going. “Don’t ask us! Do it yourself!”, having a lackey around to tell me what it I was buying would be too easy and might cause me to not have to come back and buy the right stuff when I figured out what I bought was not the right stuff. Measure once buy twice.

Stain. intentionally permanently staining an object. How unnatural! How nice it would have been to actually have a wood stain instead of wood paint masquerading as stain. Stupid Gel Stain.

Brosky came over and helped me move the big enormous thing outside, prior to that I had to empty out the drawers which I did in a hurry, the night before as if I was practicing for some contest or was about to be tested on how fast I could clean out a dresser. Fast but not well was the verdict. I may never see my clothes again because for some reason I felt compelled to hide everything from what I don’t know, but I really had to get all the clothes away! And where they would be safe. Like I was preparing for some tee-shirt eating monster to come charging in.

I didn’t notice how many drawers my dresser had until I had to deal with each one on an individual bases. A lot is how many, many, many , many drawers. Big drawers, smaller drawers, really itty bitty drawers .I think they spent there time making more of the itty bitty drawers while I was spending most of the after noon painting the enormous dresser itself. Painting not staining. Staining would have been what I had wanted to do, not what I was doing. I had to move on and do with what I had. So I painted.

If I had planned on painting it , I would not have planned on painting it brown. I would have painted it white, a bit on the Shabby Chic side for the look I was going for, but I could have lived with it being painted white but ... I wanted to stain it! I wanted... I ... it’s brown! I have to move on past the brown dresser disaster and on to other things. Like fabric swatches.

The good thing about the painty stain was it did briefly give me the appearance of the dark pre-cancerous tan that I have always dreamed about possessing but was too cheap to go to Jamaica to get. My friends at work spend big money on getting that dark. Had I but known that the fastest way to that tan was spilling stain all over myself, I would have done it years ago. No more "Leche Legs" for me! I had that dark pre-cancerous tropical tan that people spend big money on and that dermatologists name their yachts after, "Come have some Fun In The Sun aboard the SPF 2 (BYO tanning lotion)" .

I suggested one of my friends at work that as a money saving tactic maybe instead of spending the cash on the fake bake she could just work out in her yard or walk her dog or something that might put her in contact with the actual sun that might produce an actual pre-cancerous natural tan instead of her pricey fake bake pre-cancerous tan,. She demurred. I guess microwaveing is not just for popcorn anymore.