Home Computer, Sweet Home Computer

Finally. The whole tour grind was really getting me down, as much as I loved collecting all those snowglobes and paper weights and groupies, it is good to be home. I have done more traveling then that little Expedia(tm) troll thing.

Mother Nature was all up in my face today. This afternoon she really needed to talk and frankly, she over shared. Once she started to open up it was TMI City. Despite Mother Natures need to let us all feel her pain, Dogger and I needed to walk.

That Mother Nature is a real bitch. We hardly got any walk at all before the sky started to look like a wet blanket and it began to drip all over us. Dogger does not like rain and she hasn’t learned to look at it as a surprise bath. Dogger only likes warm showers and only those because she gets many, many bones to help soften the blow. Dogger is not a natural born water dog, she had to be taught how to swim, if left to her own devises she would just sink like a stone and she’s never gotten to like swimming enough to do it on purpose, pity, she has large enough flippers to swim to Canada. She could be a great all natural outboard motor, and with gas prices being the way they are now... I could rent her out all summer! There are a lot of lakes around and many of them have prohibitions against power motes. I bet they wouldn’t have a problem with a dogger motor! she’s quite, more or less, she doesn’t leak petroleum products and what she does leak, is totally biodegradable. I think the Sierra Club would want to know about this alternative power source. It could put a lot of otherwise unadoptable big dogs to good use.

It would empty out the shelters, all those over sized dogs that just languish at those places until they are either put down or languish into furry throw rugs would suddenly be useful, local humane societies could finally get really nice facilities and it would be so good for those dogs self esteem and confidence and they would probably not eat small children because they would be too tired from being out boards all day that they wouldn’t have the energy to nosh on toddlers. I mean, people would take advantage of the dogs, because people in general suck, but if they worked their big dog too hard it would just eventually drown and leave them to die in the trackless deep or the muddy shallows or whatever. Boats sink.

I could just see it. Little dogs on little boats in the shallows, maybe with little kids at the helm! It would be so cute. Puppy Power! Those puppies would grow up to propel bigger boats and it would be a world of happy, useful dogs and their would always be leetle puppies at the lake to play with and lot’s of little kids would spend the summer around little puppies. Puppies who spend time with people turn into happy, well adjusted dogs, kids who spend time with dogs turn into happy well adjusted people.

Could you imagine all those puppies in swim class? All those tiny swim wings? All the Mama Dogs standing by with towels and cameras? I think the teachers would be German Short Haired Pointers named Lars, but maybe, for the puppies they would use Beagles so that they wouldn’t be that much larger then the students. I think on the first day of class they would throw a one of those Taco Bell dogs into the water to prove that there is no such thing as a dog too small to swim, Maybe a specially trained Cat for the non-sporting breeds. I
think it could work