Bee There or Bee Square


There is a bee in my office. Ew, ew, ew! No where to run to, no where to hide! Auuuuuuuuhhhhhggggg!

No. Wait, it isn't a bee. It's a fly. A buzzing fly. A huge buzzing fly buzzing around my office like it's some sort of fly NASCAR track. Ew. I could almost deal with a bee or a wasp. Somewhere is this building is a can of Wasp Be Dead and I know how to use it. First you spray enough at the little beasty to drown it and then you spend the rest of the day getting high off the fumes.

But flies are dirty and nasty and gross!. I had this huge fly's bigger, badder, brother in here a couple of weeks ago. It wouldn't leave and it wouldn't die! How long do those little bastards live anyhow? A long time, when all they have to do buzz, buzz, buzz around your head.

I go back to my filing, I would be making copies but somebody, so clearly not me, cause that is so not my job, let the copy machine run out of toner and then didn't order new toner. Or tell anyone that the toner was gone and that more needed to be ordered. Too easy. Lame-os. I shared an office with a printer and a fax machine and a copy machine and don't even think that the maintenance of those little bastards wasn't my responsibility. If they needed anything it was I who ordered it. If they broke, I made the call to get them fixed. And this was not on my Job Discription! I just did it because it made sence. It's not hard. The damn machine is in their office and they use it all the time and they can't be bothered. They also can't be bothered to refill the paper either for that matter. I can. Every damn time. Me and only me. It's just too hard for anyone else to take the initiative to go down the hall and get the key and load up on some paper. Way too hard. It might cut into their making personal calls time or their running to the store to get breakfast time or their visiting with their Avon™ lady time. They're just too "girly" for such heavy lifting, "It's A Mans job…" so I have to do it? Did I grow a penis and not notice? let me go check. ( musak, musak, musak) Hmm. No penis there.

I am also waiting for Big Brother to make it around to my office and turn my happy, carefree, independent little machine into a borg. I'll really miss my machine. There was an article online this morning that is making the rounds in the office; it's all about what a colossal waste of state money Big Brother, Inc. is, that is borg-ifying our computers . They are sitting down at the Legislature cutting DHHS programs, cause ya know the state is so broke, but some one managed to cut $10 million lose from somewhere to take away my access to my browser. Bastards!

edited to add - this email we all found in our in box this morning:

This afternoon at about 4:45 in a meeting with Honcho, I was told
that Our Divsion would be taken out of Big Brother, Inc. He said that he had not yet called DIRM, so it is possible Big Brother, Inc. personnel will not know this first thing tomorrow morning. If they come to your office please ask them to check with DIRM before doing any new installations. We may end up keeping the units already installed. We will have to determine later whether they should be moved to an employee who is all state funded.


Hee!