With apologies to Alan Sherman

Hello muddah, hello faddah, here we are at Camp Knottypine-a

Dear Mom and Dad Dog,

Aunt Cookie says you are almost back from vacashun. This is good, we want you back from vacashun. Aunt Cookie says while you are away on vacashun at The Frants, we’re at camp. Bandit says if this a good time for him to whip out his pink boa and bright yellow over sized sunglasses. Aunt Cookie says it’s not that kind of camp but he could make a boa in the Crafts Cabin instead of a lanyard if that was his preference.

Camp is very entertaining and they say we'll have some fun if we’ll stop whining

We said we don’t know what camp is, so Aunt Cookie screened Meat Balls, Camp Nowhere, Camp, Cheerleader Camp and about 15 minutes of the Addam’s Family for us. We still do not know what a lanyard is. Aunt Cookie refuses to put on a bikini top and join us for a sack race. Aunt Cookie is not fun.

All the Doggies hate the Kitty and the Kitty hates the Doggies and Aunt Cookie has a headache La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

We thought Aunt Cookie brought us the Kitty to play with. The Other Dog says that the Kitty is not a toy but if we work together to corner him he may turn into one!

We have learned interesting new ways to sleep all day and bark at nothing! Dogger is a great teacher! Aunt Cookie let us play in the sprinkler and now we all smell! We also now believe that we should have our own beds and a 1-1 dog to floor fan ratio. Work on this. We expect to see a Plan Of Action by the time we get home. We also need to talk about Theme Walks... We went to the Governors Mansion! And through some place that Aunt Cookie called the “Inflated Property Value District”. Aunt Cookie says we live the “Deflated Property Value District”. Aunt Cookie sighed a lot.

Aunt Cookie makes us get up really early! We mean, really, really, really early. We want to sleep in! When are you coming home! We are not the Dawn Patrol! and Aunt Cookie won’t take us in the truck hardly at all, she claims there is too much dog and not enough truck. We thought we found a Dead Thing, but Aunt Cookie said it was an alive junkie and wouldn’t let us roll in it. It smelled like a Dead Thing though. You would have let us roll in it? right?. We were very confused.

When are you coming back from The Frants? What is vacashun and why didn’t you bring your dogs with you! whywhywhy We want our forest back! We want our house back! We want to live somewhere where there is no Kitty! Why have you abandoned us? WooooooooooooooffffffffBaaarkkkkWhiiiinnne!

Wait a minute, the cat stopped wailing, dogs are swimming, dogs are running , playing soccer, gee that's better! Muddah, faddah kindly disregard this letter.


We can run in the yard! We can sing with the sirens! We can play the Other Dog! Whoopee!!!


Signed,

Your Dogs
( with thanks to bussongs.com)