Adventures in Democracy part 3 - Revenge of the wonks

I knew this was going to be different when instead of folks in lefty tee-shirts and dockers wandering outside the building with bottled water in their hands I saw determined people in conservative dress striding purposefully down the street with clip boards in their hands. These folks were serious and they had on their power suits.

As I approached the building there was a little crowd in front and as I got closer they started to cheer. Wow. I thought, that’s really nice. Making the delegates feel special. What are they holding? Campaign signs. Gee. Then I looked around and noticed I was walking just behind Erskine Bowles and his handlers and the little crowd was cheering for him. Still kind of cool though. He’s the guy who got bitch slapped by Liddy Dole in the last elections. I was walking behind a guy that got run over by the GOP! You could still faintly see the tire tracks.

The first thing I find inside is the media sign in table.

Wow. Lines and many people waiting in those lines. Throngs of people. I had to wait in a line to find out I was in the wrong line, then I had to wait in another line a get my Official Delegate credentials, that turned out to be a slip of paper that said “Official Delegate” on it. I did score a very kewl toe bag though.

Before I went to go find the space. I wandered the lobby area. Of course they wait until I have no cash and have run out of checks before they roll out the buttons. They had hundreds of them and they were all really cool.

This is the big time. We’re in the Big Room this time. No glorified closet in the basement for this convention. Wow. Carpet and everything! They even opened the snack bar for us. Man, when they treat you as well as they treated the Boat Show, you are going places. I maybe should not have worn shorts.

This must be a big deal, when I get into the space I find my preci chairman and the other delegates from my precinct! I haven’t seen any of them since January when we all got this gig, or actually, I got this gig and they got postcards.. Long time no see. I have so enjoyed going to these things completely alone and knowing no one. I don’t know themeither but by this time we should be buddies.

The space has a real podium and dias. I’m impressed and this time we scored a flag! Two flags! The larger one would make a car dealership proud. Go us! No having to salute a lady in a Uncle Sam costume this time!

The benediction - Thank You God for the Democrats and deliver us from the Republicans, Amen.

Opening speaker - This. Is. The. Most. Important. Election. Of. Our. Life. Times. Mess this up and you are damning your children to hell, and baby ducks, and puppies. To Hell.


Second Speaker - Democrats are people who love other people. Republicans are people who hate other people. The place roars with delight when he invokes Clinton’s name. He may have lied but no one died. I see many buttons with that on them. Sure, he got a blow job but our troops didn’t get blown up. I didn’t see any buttons with that on it.

Erskine Bowles - Vote for me! And all the democrats running! I know their names! Votevotevote! Vote for us! Yay Us!

The we get to the meat of the matter. The endless and mind numbing voting for delegates. Time slows. Mountains rise and fall. The rules of order where written by fascists. Votes are taking, counted, argued over and retaken. One male and one female for each position . The winners get to go to Boston and wear funny hats for a week. PC Controversy - Is it fair to have two minorities run against each other, guaranteeing one will not win? Send them both?! Shouldn’t all communities be represented? Whose minority group is the most minorityesque? Should they line up and compare skin tone? Levels of persecution? Whip out their check books and compare balances? Does wheel chair trump ethnicity?

There is nothing like local politics, simultaneously endearing and enraging.