Alumna Foil


Dear Alumni Association,

Hi. Remember me? I'm the one who told you that you don't offer a giving level low enough to match my level of desire to give you money? Yeah. You remember. I think I also noted that my major was a little light on the Real World aspects of my field? Suggesting that all of us would spend every minute of our professional lives not only working solely in our field but working in our field as Actors! Directors! and Designers! And while raising us to work in the non-profit fields on the entertainment plantation, not offering even one class on grant writing?! But preparing most of us to work primarily in the service industry? I might have also alleged that they did this on purpose to make sure that restaurant industry would not run low on over educated, under motivated employees t who just don't care enough to spit in customers drinks... And that my degree prepared me the most for was standing on street corners with a "Will Deconstruct Mamet For Food" sign?

Bygones.

I got a MasterCard™ in the mail. It has a picture of Old Main on it. This tells me that I got it through you, alumni society. Which reminds me that I got the card because I wanted an alumni tee -shirt. I never got my alumni tee shirt, and now they hauled off and renamed the school and any tee shirt I would get now would have the dumb new name on it. I am annoyed and not working in my degree field.

And when I checked the date on the card it seemed to reflect that I had had this card for some time. That means that you tricky bastards talked me into the card several years ago and then kept me, some how from paying too close attention to the lack of shirt by renaming the school. I know that you yourselves didn't rename the school. I see that. I also see you didn't work very hard to block the change, but it wasn't your fault. I could also further get your butt out of the fire with me by suggesting that the name change was so hard on you that you just couldn't deal with sending me my shirt. I was bummed out too. I still want my shirt.

I think that you could send me one. Or two, or whatever you feel I would be the most comfortable with. I do believe that I am the only alumna east of The Mississippi and I would make your only inroads into this part of the country.

I also want to know if while you are sending me a tee shirt or two or whatever you think I would be the most comfortable with, that you also send me a chrome license plate frame. My plastic one I got with my diploma is almost ready to go to the great License Plate Framery in the sky and I would like a new one.

I would be totally willing to be the Point person for a whole new wave of Alumni Groups west of the Mississippi. I and the rest of your lost sheep would sit around in our official Alumni Tee Shirts and talk about how much we (love!) to hate you.



Sincerely,