The Great Pumpkin

I was out and about this weekend and while I was out and about and not also out and about with the dogs, I decided I need to go shopping. Christmas Shopping. There was a Tuesday Morning and I wanted to do something non-dog related. There was a no dogs allowed sign on the door, and like my checkbook, they were open and ready for business.

I was trying to think ahead. I was thinking of Christmas, which wasn’t hard since as I walked in the door and right into a life sized NutCracker figure, everything went down hill on a sled after that. I was humming carols before I finish picking NutCracker out of my teeth.

I kept finding things I wanted and after I slapped myself, I kept find things people at work wanted. These are the people that rate above the Card and Candy Cane crowd but below Actual Gift crowd. I needed stuff one step above stocking stuffer and one step below getting them something they might really like - and I found it – on the 50 percent off shelf! And I didn’t want to just to give people some box of bath beads or another decorative potpourri thing that no one uses or wants and that says loudly “I didn’t really buy this for you, I bought this for Some One at The Office. Merry Christmas! And while I did wander around the store for a fairly long time, it doesn’t count as a Intentional Trip To The Store To Find Something For crowd gifts, which I haven’t found yet.

You know what I have also found I really appreciate knowing about a person? Gift Themes. Those people who really like horses or collect fish things or are really into pigs or penguins or whatever. They make gift giving a much less stressful thing. I think that should be on work IDs, name, department and favorite animal.

I hate Tuesday Morning. Everything is so pretty and 75 percent off – big change from Poverty Barn where it is also 75 percent off. The major difference being 75 percent off $125 and 75 percent off $1.25. I was so thoroughly into the Christmas spirit by the time I left the store I was seriously thinking about putting up my tree.

Okay, while I was still in a holiday mood, the wrong holiday but still, I stopped by the Farmers Market to look for a pumpkin. I figured they should have some by this time. Some? Some? They had houndreds all of them different. The last few years I’ve just gone to the supermarket the day before Halloween and pawed through whatever pumpkins were still there and grabbed whatever wasn’t too misshapen or green. I’m not used to choice.

I wandered around there for a good hour. I had to look at every pumpkin, I had to compare and contrast, I had to interview the pumpkins. I then had to make some hard choices about size - it does matter, too small and it’s a toy, too big and how am I going to carry it back to the car? And what do you do with those massive things? If I do get one of those monsters, do I have to buy friends for it? Color – too orange, kind of reddish, too yellow, is that pink? And finally the correct shade of pumpkin orange - shapes, too round, too tall, too short, too bulbous, too weird and finally, right color, right shape, right size, right price. When I paid for it, I told the woman I had to make sure I had the right one. She said “It is very important to be sure”.

I call him Herbert. I got home, arranged Herbert by the door and stood back, Herbert was lonely. Later on I went to Kmart and found him a couple of friends. It took two minutes. Wrong color, wrong size, wrong shape– but, for $2.99 a pop, right price. Herbert has a family.