Susie Homemaker

Monday morning I walked into my kitchen and right into a roach from the Jurassic period. If it wasn’t for that twelve pack of coke on the kitchen floor and my suddenly preternaturally good aim - I’m pretty sure it would have dragged me back to its lair and stored me for the winter. I get squicked finding big roaches in the living room, but I can tell myself they just took a wrong turn... when I find a huge roach in the kitchen... I know he’s making a roach guide and all his huge nasty friends are on the way.

This puts me in the mind of cleaning the kitchen. Really cleaning the kitchen. Not just spraying the surfaces with windex and hoping for the best - I needed to mop. I would have done it Monday night after work but I was kept after work by a surveyor who, could have come and asked me to help her at like 2 p.m or so, but didn’t, so came to my office at 4:25 and needed to find paperwork for some complaint she had work on - “great” I said “What date is it and I’ll find it for you”, she didn’t know. She wasn’t even really sure what year it had been investigated, but she was pretty sure it was 2001 or 2002 and when she thought about it she wasn’t really sure what facility it was. I said “Go research it and I’ll help you first thing”, no, she couldn’t so that. She had court and she needed it now. She had been told to do it by another surveyor and that surveyor had the info. I told her “Go ask her for more information and then I can help you”. NO, she wanted to play with my computer some more. She was just flipping through random investigations to see if she had worked on them while I was flipping through two years worth of paper work looking for her name and cursing it. She asked me what time I go home, “fifteen minutes ago” I said.

She finally broke down and talked to her supervisor who gave her the investigation number and the date of the visit - 2004! I found the paperwork and sent her off the make her copies. I’m not allowed to let the surveyors just keep the paperwork because they have a bad habit of not bringing it back and then we need it and I have a stroke because its not there and neither is the surveyor. I hate leaving work almost as much as I hate those work related strokes but I’d rather leave late then die of a stroke. She brought me my paperwork back and I finally went home.

I didn’t clean because I was too tired when I came home. I did a load of dishes instead.


Okay. Once I got to work on Monday I saw a weird thing on that floor too, but it turned out to be a CPU and assorted computer things. Later on my friend the computer person asked me if I would unhook my computer and hook up the new one. I said, sure, I’ll do it tomorrow first thing. And I did. I should have waited.

I got little monster all hooked up. New CPU, new flat screen monitor, new fancy mouse. All very cool. My friend came in , waved her hands over it and announced it was ready to go after it downloaded some needed updates. That took days. Then it was ready! Yay! I can check my email. I was getting the shakes. I rebooted it and got an error message about Images. I didn’t have any images. I found my friend and told her about this Image error, she told me to reboot. I did. Same message. She finally came and looked at the machine and said it needed to be “reimaged” and I needed a new CPU.

The machine isn’t working yet. I did manage to get my kitchen cleaned and the floor mopped. I wouldn’t suggest eating off the floor, but at least now there isn’t anything on the floor to eat.