You tell me

I drove to my friendly neighborhood McDonald's. I ordered my regular, #2 meal, NO CHEESE. I illustrated this with the use of sign language as well as clear enunciation. Fine. I got my food, I checked the wrapper to see the little "special order sticker", Feeling confident about my food, I went home.

I got home. I opened my bag and went for my burger. CHEESE! Cheese on my burger.

I hate this with the fire of a thousand burning suns. It's up there with being called "Diane". I calmly broke open my fries and waited so that I would not kill anyone when I got back to the McDonalds. High on the fry grease, I then packed up my burger and went back to the McDonald's. Gas is expensive now, but I don't take a messed up order lightly.

On the way to the store, I practice my speech. I wanted to sound irked but not irrational. I want to speak to your Manager... . At this point in my script, the manager appears ( unlike real life where I waited and waited). At long last...

Me - Hi, My name is Diana. I am a regular customer. I ordered this WITH OUT CHEESE and it came with cheese this happens to me all the time.

Manager - All the time?

Me - Yes. All The Time. If I had allergies or kept kosher, this would be a big problem. .

Manager - Apologizes, blah, blah, new employees...

Me - I know how hard this job can be, intimately. Really I understand.But here on my receipt it clearly says W/O CHEESE. I also know how EASY this job can be!

Manager - More apologies. I will replace the burger and give you a pie!

Me - Fabulous

I was thrilled with the pie thing. When I was rehearsing this on the way there, that was going to be part of my demands along with giving me my money back. I had all ready eaten my fries so that was out. If I had bigger, brasser ovaries I would have made them give me money back too.