Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Team Players

I was so busy I Saturday I changed clothes four times.

Now I know what it must be like to be Paris Hilton, but without the painful urination and traveling crab circus aspects of being Paris Hilton. I had to change clothes! I couldn’t wear what I wore to the convention to the Art fair and I couldn’t wear the Art fair outfit to mow the lawn! and I couldn’t possibly wear the mow the lawn outfit to Mass. I could have worn the Art fair outfit to Mass but the shirt was kind of political party centric and I try to keep a separation between Church and State – it is possible, the Bush Administrations ongoing inability to do so, non-withstanding and I guess I could have worn the convention outfit to Mass but by that time I was going for the record.

I’m sure the neighbors thought I had lost my mind. Every time they saw me leaving the house I was dressed in something very similar but not exactly the same as when they saw me come back to the house few minutes ago as if they sat around and gossiped about what I am wearing. Metrosexuals these guys are not. I don’t really think they have season passes forQueer Eye on their Tivos. In my mind they use their TVs for playing Grand Theft Auto and watching Scarface.

I don’t think they sit around a gossip about me or what I am wearing past “Oh look, it’s the white girl is home. Let’s turn the stereo up to 11”. I’m pretty sure they really only notice my comings and goings when I walk Dogger past their house because they then have to tell their pit bull puppy to not try to come with us. Pit bull puppy has been thus far a very cute little dog, all wriggly and puppy like. It’s too bad that in a few weeks he’s just going to be all pit bull like.

The Drug Dealers pits are for the most part very agreeable pit bulls and have never caused me any trouble, that is besides the point, really because the image of a full grown male pit coming at you is not an image of cute and fuzzy bunny, no matter how wriggly and not at all trying to sever your leg from your body he seems to be. He still can, pit bulls don’t casually come over to say “Hi!” and lick your hand, pit bulls stalk over and grit out “Fuck You” and taste your hand. I’ll miss that puppy.

Dogger is a large dog, but even when she is coming at you at full speed with her jaws open and her teeth out, she doesn’t seem like she wants to sever anything – shatter your knee cap and bring you to ground for the rest of her pack to tear out your throat and finish the job? yes, sever something, no. A grown pit wouldn’t need the rest of its pack to finish the job.

Thus far our first day without a/c is going well. I can tell the a/c hasn’t been fixed yet because A) I’m hot and not in a good way, and B) the blower is blowing like there is no tomorrow. There is a giant fan in the hallway that if I had to be closer to it, the sound would have made me throw myself out a window hours ago. It’s like listening to an easy listening buzz saw only and it isn’t doing anything to make it more hospitable.

The weather is co-operating by not being as hot as it was supposed to be and so far there have been door to door Popsicle deliveries.

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