The Human Top

For those of you keeping track, I finally scored some more shampoo and there was dancing through out the land. I’m sure you feel better too.

I thought I was about done with my Christmas shopping. But I guess that is what happens when you start in September, I guess its Karma for assigning your tastes to others ”You will want this doohickey. You have never mentioned the doohickey, but you will want the doohickey.” or not, maybe by the time Christmas comes around they will have come out four square against doohickeys in general or gone the other route and bought themselves the doohickey in question. It’s the price you (I) pay for being too good to go to the malls with everyone else.

It’s not that I am really too good to mix with the hoi polloi, it’s just that I don’t want to try to bond with my fellow polloi while on a mission. I want to go find what I need and be done. I fully need and expect the people to separate like the red sea and let me pass. I don’t think I’ve set my expectations too high.

I don’t mind being at the mall with the people. I actually kind of like it, I just don’t want to be there and also have things I need to get done. I want to be able to ride the tide of humanity without having to worry about hitting the rocks. I don’t want to have to go to the mall this time of year. I want to want to go to the mall and I can’t do that if I have to go to the mall.

Really, in a perfect world the mall would be by appointment only.

What else?

I emailed the Church lady in charge of cookie procurement and I haven’t heard back yet. I would call her but I’m not sure I could get through “Hi, can I want bring dog treats to your cookie sale?” without making it all one word Hi canibringdogtreatstoyourcookiesale?”I'm afraid to sound dingy. I think I would rather show up and surprise them with dog treats then have them wonder what the Dog Treat Lady would look like before I got there. I would rather not be speculated upon, especially when I’m afraid that the speculation would run to dog hair covered sweaters and eu de hound.

Maybe I’m being too sensitive.

The dog cookies are a go whether they want them or not, I made the dough last night and I’m going to bake tonight. I’m thinking of making different sizes of cookies. Some of the bigish bones, the smaller bones and maybe a handful of the really tiny gingerbread men or maybe make them all large bones because I think those are more impressive and could be sold for more – fewer treats for more money verses more treats for less. I don’t know. I would guess it would be up to them, but… See this is the over thinking part takes over and I wind up all wound up.

Okay, decision made. One tray of bigger bone shaped cookies and one tray of smaller bone shaped cookies per flavor. If I just make the smaller bones and not make the larger sized the yield will be 10 dozen cookies. This is a lot. So. I’m thinking, one tray of the smaller cookies and one tray of the larger cookies ( two flavors so two trays of small cookies and two trays of large cookies). I’m not sure how many of the larger cookies I’ll get but if it’s looking like not many, I can go ahead and just make some milk flavored treats in addition … Again, the over thinking takes over and I wind up wound up.