Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Up, Up and Away

This weekend before I put the lights up it occurred to me that the lights were going to have to go up. As in not down or above the ground. I thought about dragging out one of the dining room chairs but they really aren’t tall enough and standing on your tip toes on a kitchen chair trying to put Christmas lights up can lead to starring in your neighbors submission to America’s Funniest Home Videos, I mean, I’ve gone through the kitchen chair phase and frankly, I’ve grown out of it.

I’d now like to think of myself in my ladder phase. It would be a lot easier to be in my ladder phase if I actually had a ladder.

I’ve had access to a ladder but that isn’t the same as having your own ladder. When you have to borrow a ladder it cuts way down on your opportunities for ladder spontaneity. You can’t just say Hmmm. You know what? I think I want to change the bulb in the hallway. Having to arrange for a ladder makes a little thing like changing a bulb into a major project. First you have to call ahead and schedule time with the ladder, then you have to go and fetch the ladder then you actually do the task and then doing the whole thing in reveres. For a four minute job! Just to make the whole thing worth it you have to find more things to do above the ground. You find yourself dusting the tops of the doors - have you ever spent any time studying the tops of your door ways? It’s not a pretty place, you wouldn’t go out of your way to add it to the house tour Oh, and on the way to the office, check out the top of the doorway to the bathroom! Isn’t it awesome! I designed myself!. You just don’t do that besides, if you find yourself having to justify the ladders’ presents in your home you may find your self dealing with errant spider webs and other tasks best left undone.

There are things in your home you can’t see with out assistance. It’s best left that way.

So.

I decided I didn’t want to go borrow a ladder. I was going to have to buy my own ladder. Sadly, this is not the kind of thing you go find on Ebay. You kind of have to go to the store yourself when you are in the ladder market. I did what I knew.

I called Broskey and Alphagal and asked them how much ladders cost. They gave me some figures, I asked some questions and I lit out for the closest big box home improvement store and tried to find the ladder isle.

Did you know they don’t sell wooden ladders anymore? I was shocked. I thought I would walk in there, grab the cutest ladder in the window and head home I was kind of hoping for a “Hello Kitty” model... I had to go find a clerk and then I had to compare and contrast. Ladders . 4' v. 6' , laddery looking ladders v. ladders that look like stairs v. ladders with handy places to put you big gulp and sandwich. There are a lot of options. It was very confusing. I just came in there for a generic ladder and found myself needing assistance and even more shocking, finding it. The clerk and I stood there in the middle of the ladder isle discussing the pros's and con’s of individual options. The prices were all about the same, so it wasn’t a matter of settling. It was a matter of deeply, deeply over thinking the problem! And for once it wasn’t on my part. I don’t know enough about ladders to over think them - The clerk on the other hand needed medication and perhaps some short term inpatient care.

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