To-Do Today.

If I am very, very smart after work I will immediately prepare the bathroom for dog bathing, change my clothes into things as suitable for dog walking as they are for dog bathing and finally, strip Doggers bedding and take it immediately to the basement for laundering, and then take Dogger for her walk.

I could have Dogger walked, her bedding washed and Dogger bathed all before 6:30pm. It would indeed be a wonderful thing.

It’s never going to happen like that.

What will happen:

Upon entering the house the phone will be ringing and I will trip over The Kitty in my rush to answer it. The call will disconnect before I get to the phone or it will be the fourth recorded reminder of the week from a evangelical mega church in Knightdale asking me to come visit them this week or another reminder the Democrats reminding me of my yearly precinct meeting this Thursday. Also in my rush to the phone I will re-injure my shoulder. The Kitty will find a way to cause me to become distracted, perhaps by throwing up on the new carpet, so that he may rush past me so that he may indulge in some punitive bill chewing to get back at me for tripping over him as I walked in the door.

When I wrestle the mail away from The Kitty, it will turn out that the most seriously chewed items will belong to my neighbors. The only things delivered to the right address will be pre-need fliers and pleas from area pharmacies for my Medicare dollars.

As I do the walk of shame to the neighbors to return their chewed up mail, I will think about bathing Dogger, but the thought of actually immediately preparing the bathroom for dog bathing, changing my clothes into things as suitable for dog walking as they are for dog bathing and finally, stripping Doggers bedding and taking it immediately to the basement for laundering, and then taking Dogger for her walk, will leave me too exhausted to actually do any of it. I mean, I could strip her bedding but it isn’t going downstairs, and in theory, I could break the whole dog bathing/bedding/towel laundering torment into small, easily doable non-torment-y parts and complete the rest of it in dribs and drabs over the rest of the evening because it’s not like I have anything else to do as the banal Murrican’ Idiot will be on instead of the brilliant House.

I will end up taking Dogger to the park again and hoping that anyone who touches her will do so with gloved hands that they will hopefully dispose of upon leaving the park, and that anyone who does come close to her won’t want to get too close to her as not only has she not been bathed in two weeks, I also have fallen behind on her doggy oral hygiene as well...Or I could just think about how much I need to do while Dogger and I doze in front of the TV watching twelve year old Law and Order reruns.