Brrrr. Damn it.

Okay, out with old, in with the new. I am over summer and it is now time for fall. I bought really a pair of cute black boots over the weekend and that cuteness loses a lot in translation when worn with shorts.

Hot is over. I am now thinking cool thoughts. I am thinking about wool, I am dreaming of corduroy . I am not letting a little things like record heat and drought get in my way. I am thinking positive thought. Polar fleece thoughts.

It isn’t hard to do.

With my cute boots in mind I thought maybe I would go and find them some friends, perhaps some brown friends., perhaps in a nice riding boot style. I also thought I could do this online, Beeeep! No, no, you can not . You can, there are thousands of choices - and while I am sure they are all very wonderful - about nine-tenths are too dom, too granola, too storm trooper, too cowboy, too furry, too shiny, too short, too tall or too drag queen! When I started, I thought “I’ll just look for some nice plain, brown boots. Somewhere between Laura Ingalls and Cat Woman . A happy medium.

What I saw a lot of, the very, very, very expensive boots. I don’t know where they get the leather or the huzpah but the hides must come from designer field mice and then they use gold to tan the leather and then Gwyneth Paltrow licks the leather and then it is made into boots. Very expensive boots. And if Jimmy Choo designs something and calls it "The Prince Boot”, it has eight inch heels and it will costs more than your first car. A good rule would be to avoid any designer you have heard of and not to even look at anything by any designer that was ever mentioned on Sex and the City. You are not Cary Bradshaw”.

And I was thwarted by the heels I saw. I have seen have serious heels, I am not looking to discipline anyone and I do not have a Napoleon Complex. The average boot designer and his consumers have some real issues.

I like to see myself as above average. Moving on.

I got tired of looking online and went back to bricks and mortar.. If anyone was wondering, I know where all the sandals went, we couldn’t find any this weekend. I found them. All of them. The first place I went didn’t even have any fall shoes! It had one pair of men's timberland's and about 657 different kinds of flip flops. I was like “Hello! It’s Back To School Time! Why am I seeing white shoes? Why am I seeing ballet flats!! Hello it’s the end of August! Where are the mukluks?!”

I went through two different elcheapo discount places before I hit Target. I love Target. Target is our friend. Target also has boots.

Target has boots named “Greta” and “Gretchen” and “Greta”. I think their boot designer went to Berlin over the summer and all he saw was the underside of Mistress’ boot. Mistress’ black boot! I already have black boots!

Of course, I went home and checked Target online and there were : my boots. Not too dom, too granola, too storm trooper, cowboy, too furry, too shiny, too short, too tall or too drag queen! Somewhere between Laura Ingalls and Cat Woman . A happy medium.