Goodies

...and the train is in on the track

The best thing about getting older is that it takes so much longer to celebrate your birthday. I mean, as a child it’s : games, cake, gifts, home done, but I guess that’s old school, today’s kids probably do something like : make overs, pimp their rides, big game hunt, lunch with cast of High School Musical , cake, gifts, catch flight for home. I mean, really.

chug chug,

As an adult we can’t party that hard. It’s more like : Cake at the office, home, a long shower and then bed and the next day, dinner with the fam, gifts, a long nap, maybe some ben-gay and then some light reading and then bed. As we age, we need to pace ourselves. I have more birthday this weekend. Needless to say, I’ll need to take frequent rest breaks.

Whoops! hit that turn a little fast...

Why is 30 Rock not coming back until October?, how is that right? Prison Break comes back next week, a show I don’t even watch! And 30 Rock, a show I do watch doesn’t come back until October! Not Fair. I’ll have to sooth myself by watching my Angel-The Series Season 3 DVD. My favorite season. Take that NBC!

chugging along...

Broskey and Alpha Gal gave me lots of cool stuff! Along with the DVDs they also got me these really pretty rooster salt and pepper shakes- My first thought was “Well, they can go with my little animal collection” - I do not, repeat do not have a menagerie, lets make that very clear, I have a petting zoo, single women with “menageries” need to step away from the Tennessee Williams. A petting zoo is post modern deconstruction, feminist model of the out dated “glass menagerie” idea . Also? I am not mentally ill . Big Difference.

hitting the turn a little fast...

Another major difference? The Kitty smashed just about all the glass animals in my petting zoo. Whatshername in the play? I bet she didn’t have a single native American crafted wooden wale in her lame little collection. I’m going to be really different, instead of declaring my roosters “art” I’m going to use them as : salt and pepper shakers. Gasp. I know.


and Oh! Derailment!!

I had to pull Dogger out of the yard a minute ago. She was barking madly at something or someone and I was afraid she would scare the neighbors. She’s really a good little secondary burglar alarm. She’s very green and the only burglars that would come near my house would have obliviously given up all hope and are really unmotivated or are very, very, very dumb. Probably suicidal, actually. And of course, in that case, they'd deserve our sympathy and help - But not if they tried to break into my house. I would just be sad that they got blood all over my nice floors.

I imagine that Real Robbers send unsuitable burglar wannabes my way to thin the herd. I haven’t actually ever found a dead burglar body in the yard, but if I left Dogger out there more often..., maybe if I salted the back yard with a car stereos? If you bait them they will come, like ants. I wonder if I could use the remains - because, it’s not like I could in good conscience take them away from her, I mean, not after she protected me from them and everything, I mean, she would need to be rewarded , so like, after she got tired of them...OMG! they would be perfect mulch! My jasmine plants have never really taken off the way I had hoped.

Just in case though? I think I’ll keep setting my real alarm. Its much safer for the burglar community, it just calls the police on them and I understand if it’s the cops that get to them first, they hardly ever tear out suspects throats.