Let Them Eat Cake

Wow. SO this is what 27* feels like! Whew. What a long strange trip it’s been! I had no idea my 20's* would zip by this fast. My teen years lasted forever. Of course, I was a teenager for the better part of two decades, so your mileage may vary.

Dogger and I went to the park and we saw the oddest dog. It looked like a cross between three breeds. It had the head of a lab, the body of a basset hound and the legs of a corgi. It was not the happiest dog I have ever seen. The lab and basset in him really wanted to run with the other dogs but his little bowed corgi legs just wouldn’t let it. You could see his pain. He had the bassets sad eyes

It could have been worse for him though. There was a pug there, pugging around, who was inadvertently turned into a speed bump by a herd of big dogs doing wind sprints. As his person was taking him to the small dog park she said "He honestly thinks he's really a big dog". The rest of the large dog people were thinking "Honestly? he weighs 15 pounds, my dog shits bigger than that".

The pug should have been pugging around the safety of the small dog park but like all small dogs who play in the large dog park, he clearly seemed to be insulted the implication that he is actually, a small dog. All the small dogs seem to suffer from Napoleon complexes. They see the small dog park as their own Elba and they clearly resent it. They universally prefer the large dog park, despite the implicit dangers associated with running with the big dogs.

And how was your day?

I found something that the lazy, passive aggressive, self absorbed asshole who offices next door to me have in common, other than our shared laziness, passive aggressiveness and self absorption: Wood Chipper themed humor.

There is nothing that is not made funnier if it first fed through a chipper. For example. What do you call a canary after if it has been fed through a chipper?


I’ll give you a moment to think it over.



Give up?



Chipped Tweet.



Oh come on!!




Give me a break, I had birthday cake for dinner.


* Yeah, right. I was 25 for a really long time, for like the entire 90's - but due to personal growth and development, I am now 27. Growing Up does not mean Growing Older.