Getting my Work Out

Our printer at work broke last week and for the past few days I’ve been having to go up two flights to pick up my printing. This is really making me depressed.
I’m actually sad about this. I have to go all the way down the hall and then climb two flights of stairs and turn left and then right and then tippy toe into the cube farm and duck into the empty cube where the printer lives and then find the stuff I printed, removed from the printer, discarded by whomever else uses the printer, all the while listening to the invisible cubist and letter dis-carder, sigh about how put-out she is, it’s a distinctly feminine, passive aggressive, sigh of a predatory printer diva

(Inhale)Oh. It’s all right if you use my printer. I guess. They just put a new cartridge in it. I’m sure it was expensive. Who did you ask about using this printer? It’s not important. Do you always print so much? I use that printer to print out my travel stuff. I travel a lot. Sometimes my plans change at the last minute and then its very important I be able to print out my travel stuff. Is all your stuff work related? I mean, it’s not like I look at it but... Did you know there is another printer? At the end of the hall? Where is you office? I think it’s much closer to you. The people who use that other printer, I don’t think use it all that much. You should go look at it. I think you would like it better. (exhale)

Over and over all day.

I’ve never even seen this person but I have to listen to her sigh every time I walk into the room. She must have some sort of mirror system set up, it’s not like she can hear me come in - That cube farm shares it’s walls with a mechanical room and it’s very loud. And yet, the diva still manages to sigh above it

(Inhale)Oh. Are you back? Again? It’s really disturbing to have the printer over there printing away. It makes a lot of noise and I am trying to concentrate. It’s like I’m sitting here and getting into a groove and then the printer goes off and I have to listen to it and it’s really distracting. Who did you say gave you the okay for this? Did you know that I’m a Dietitian? What is your discipline? Oh, you’re Undisciplined! Haha! What High School did you go to? (exhale)

You have to be really good to stuff a sigh with that much asshattery. And yet she did. Over and over.

The good news is that the repair guy finally showed up today. It turns out he really didn’t need to. One of the women, casually mentioned she figured out where the jam was, took the cartridge out and removed the jam. It’s only been three days. She couldn’t have casually pop down the hall and go printer spelunking days ago? before I hiked upstairs over and over to be judged by the Invisible Printer Diva.