Girl Powerrr

I decided what Dogger is going to be for Halloween. I know you had been very concerned, but I want you to know, I made my decision. You can all rest easy now, go back to curing cancer or whatever you do in real life. Dogger will be costumed as a Jack-o’-lantern . She is all ready orange, she just needs the right make up to complete her look.

I thought about about hair dye, the temporary variety, stage make up, the cheap stuff they sell in it’s place at the grocery store, face paint, tee shirts - both child sized and adult, pre-halloweened and DIY. I thought about buying a pumpkin costume but they don’t make cute things for big dogs. The dog costume industry is very, very anti-large breed. The whole industry is designed for the benefit of very small breeds and gay cats. There is a lot of institutionalized prejudice against large breed dogs in the dog clothing world. Sniff. Anyway. Before Dogger and I join paws with the rest of the large breeds and start singing We Shall Overcome as we chain ourselves to the front door of a Petsmart, I needed to come up with a plan.

Whatever I used on her had to be at the very least child safe and then it had to be washable and if at all possible eatable as well. It would be great if it wouldn’t come off easily, but I know there are issues if the product can’t actually be carcinogenic or permanent in nature.

I went to Petco to ask advise. They didn’t know. I find it hard to believe that no one as ever asked them what products would be advisable if you wanted to paint on your pet! Has no one ever saw the possibilities of using exploiting their dog as a walking canvas? I can not have the only big orange dog that looks like a suitable pumpkin candidate.

In the few moments this weekend that I managed to tear myself away from the more pressing matter of my dog’s Halloween costume, I went to the Junior League’s annual fund raiser, this year called The Spree! As in Shopping Spree. It was held at the RBC Center a very large, very round stadiumesque building. It is where the Hurricanes play hockey and where the second and third tier acts that come to Raleigh come to perform. First tier acts don’t come to Raleigh, but I think it would depend on how you chose to catagorize pro-wrastlin’ and third place finishers on American Idiot.

I came, I saw I bought very little. It was perhaps the most feminine group activity I have ever participated in and I once was part of “Yea! You got into the Sorority” group squeal. I believe that the estrogen was so strong in there, that if you walked into that building over the weekend, three years post- hysterectomy that you would walk out pregnant. So girly was it there, that the only available food I was able to find was salad diet water.

I was hungry for real food so I left and went into the parking lot and could not find my car. I couldn’t remember what entrance I went in, I couldn’t remember in what lot I left my car in or what direction I came in to get to the building or how long my walk from my car to the building had been. Nothing. The only thing I remembered about my parking spot was it had numbers on it. So it absolutely, positively had to be in the paved lot, right? . In addition to the RBC Center, across the street is the stadium where the college team plays and it's absolutly full lot. To add insult to injury, The State Fair is held very near by and the parking around there was free .

....and I couldn’t remember where I parked my car.

I was SOL. There were approximately 45,000 parking spots and they were all filled. 15,623 were filled by purple minivans. I walked around and around and up and down and back and forth for about a half an hour - If you are going to be walking a lot through lots, don’t wear your cute sandals. Plan for the worst, choose your footwear as if you are going to be forced to walk around and around and up and down and back and forth in a parking lot until you find your car.

I did find my car. In the unpaved lot.