It’s not an “investment” it’s a home

Dear Home Owner (s),

I am interested in buying your property located at _________! Are you interested in selling? or at have thought about it? If so, give me a call!

Dear Mr. Home Buyer (s)

I am not interested in selling you my property at ___________! I am not interested in selling, or have I put the least thought into it. I will not be calling you!

As a property owner, I realize that there are a number of reasons why someone may be interested in selling their home (family matters, inherited an unwanted property, cash flow issues, tired of ownership, life changes... the list goes on). Everyone has their own reason, so my question to you is whether you are now ready to sell? If so, I am ready to buy.

As a property owner, I realize that there are a number of non-shame based reasons someone may be interested in selling their home ( a new job out of town, a desire to live closer to family, work or school, more room for a growing family, construction of a new home... the list goes on). Many of us have our own reasons to be horrified at the proliferation of rental properties and the negative effect those properties have on our investments and neighborhoods . My question to you, is why are you are intentionally lowering the properties values in my neighborhood? I’m not buying what you are selling.

I can close quickly or delay the closing as long as you like

Be it quickly or delayed, wait for me to die, then check my will, my heirs are prohibited from using my home as a rental property or selling to anyone who would use it as such.

Please call me at you convenience so we can discuss the sale of your home. You don’t have to worry about repairs or paying any Realtor sales commissions. You have nothing to lose, so please call me now at REDACTED


Please eat shit and die, at your covenience, we won't be discussing anything. You don’t have to worry about my house. You have nothing to gain.

Sincerely,

Jason Lenhardt.

Sincerely,

Ms. Home Owner.


PS - Using Comic San Serif does not add to your charm.