Monday

Greetings from inside the rock polisher, it’s not quite the bell jar but you can see it from here. The PTB have scheduled two full weeks to do something very loud to the driveway below my window. I don’t know what it is but it involves a machine that beeps every time it does anything – it backs up, it moves forward, it stops, it starts, it shifts gears, it pauses briefly. If it can do it, it beeps while it’s doing it. I feel so much safer knowing that it is working overtime to protect idiots from getting squished/buried/forcibly moved or whatever it actually does while it’s beeping.

It’s beeping so that an idiot won’t get crushed as it backs up/moves forward/stops/starts/shifts gears; I need them to stop the beeping. I would be happy to explain to the idiots family why their idiot got ran over - Their idiot got ran over because he was an idiot who got smushed because he idiotically wandering onto a construction site and didn’t get out of the way. Because he was an idiot. That thing out there is obligated to beep all the time because one too many idiots got smushed.

I think I feel less bad about the potential accidental death of an idiot than I do about spending two weeks with that thing beeping under my window.

I can’t tell what the beeper is doing out there, last week it beeped up the existing pavement, it made my teeth vibrate, and not in a good way. There is no such thing as a tooth massage. You do not feel better after having your teeth Rolfed.

They are now excavating, excavating what I can not tell you. I think they are trying to find The Lost Colony! They are just going to keep that freaking beeper out there beeping, beeping, beeping until they find the damn thing. News Flash- They died, the sad little unprepared English merchants all died from malaria and their badly built shelters collapsed and rotted! the survivors ran away and joined the closest indigenous tribe they could find and lived with them. And all this happened NOT HERE! It’s making me crazy! I was very happy with the driveway as it was, I didn’t ask for this! I put in no work order requesting that they spend two weeks under my window dredging out the driveway – and that is what they are doing. There must be four feet of old macadam out there and they are dedicated to removing every last piece of it so they can pour four more feet of macadam.

I was thinking as I watched them beeping away out there that with all the ground they are shifting though that they should be finding things. There must be things in that dirt. I momentary got archaeologically interested in what they were doing out there but then I remembered that if they did find an interesting thing out there, it would just make the whole beeping project take longer and I bet the archeology people probably have beepers on their little brushes.

To add insult to injury, they also re-roofing the building. Are you one of those people who love the smell of napalm in the morning? Then you would be infatuated with the smell of roof tar all damn day.