The Scripts aren’t with You

I’m now thinking of doing an all Dogger nativity scene. For some reason I was not able to get a lot of Dog Park support for the Dog Park Nativity! It was agreed that it was funny but not that it was actually doable. I think they suffer from a lack of creativity and a sad lack of confidence in their dogs. I think it would work beautifully.

So. I might go with Plan B. I think that it would have to be a photo, but I don’t have Photo-shop and it would most defiantly need to be photo shopped. Dogger as Mary! Dogger as Joseph! Dogger as a Camel! The three wise Doggers!

Well, I think it would be cute.

I asked the SPCA volunteer at work about what she thought about an all dog nativity as a fund raiser, but she just looked at me and told me to seek help, well, actually, the first time I suggested it she laughed. It was later, after I had suggested an all-cat nativity and then an all-hamster nativity that she told me to seek help. I think any of the above would be cute. I went with hamsters because I think that they would be compliant, rats would probably be better disciplined, but even I don't think the world is ready for an all rat nativity.

I would think about an all cat nativity but I could see the cats all thinking they should be playing Baby Jesus and nobody wanting to play third Shepard on right or the sleeping lamb. I see cats as being more susceptible to star trips than dogs or hamsters.

But you know, it’s a work in progress and there is the writers strike, although I’m not sure exactly what kind of effect that would have on an all dog/cat/hamster nativity scene as yet. To stay on the safe side, I guess I should not submit the idea to the networks.

After Christmas though? If you pitched them the reality show you shot while you were making the nativity happen? That would sell. After Christmas anything you suggest to the networks that doesn’t require a script is going to sell. Hamsters on bikes? Ka-ching! The footage you shot of your neighbors garage sale? Ka-ching, Ka-Ching! They are going to be wild for any kind of programming. I think I’m going to suggest they do a whole series dedicated to home made TV shows! Law and Order-Oakhaven!, can you see it? On every episode Mom, Dad and the kids solve minor neighborhood crime! Who's stealing the morning paper? Who takes the corner too sharply? Every week the family research's and investigates goings on around the neighborhood! Sometimes its sweet sometimes its sad! But everybody learns from the outcome! Or CSI-Oakhaven Mom searches for who stained the living room carpet! Mom uses advanced stain fighting technologies to uncover the culprit! Amber notices her toothbrush is wet! Watch while she uncovers the truth!, and that’s just the procedurals! Find your own big fat dumb guy and a sassy blond and you are on your way to sitcom city!

I see a whole world of fame-whoring opportunities opening up for folks who thought that all that fame-whore money was out of reach for them because they just aren’t fame-whorey enough to make it to TV big leagues. After Christmas? It's all going to be all minor league all the time! Have you been told you are not narcissistic enough? That you are too unattractive to score your own prime time hour of fame-whoring? By February, if you can show up on film, you will have your own TV show.

Tina Fey, Steve Carell and the staff of The Family Guy won’t hang out with you, but you’ll be on TV and they won't.