It's an Ashton Kutcher movie is the making

I have no butter in the house. Correction, I have no margarine in the house. This is kind of an issue. Do you know how many things are practically inedible without butter flavored topping? Damn near everything. And pretty much anything I have had any desire to eat since I noticed there wasn't any left in the refrigerator.

But do you know the only time you actually think about butter flavored topping? Right before you eat something that is only edible with butter flavored topping! You don't think about butter flavored topping when you are eating lunch right next door to a grocery, because your butter flavored topping needs have been attended to! There is no need for butter flavored topping then. It's when you go home and survey the interior of your refrigerator that you realize that you have no butter flavored topping and remember this could have been averted - There you were right next door to the grocery! And now? Where is the grocery? Not right next door! And who has time? There are reruns to watch, sneakers to find, pets to be fed and the next thing you know - It's too late to go to the grocery.

And now of course, you can't think of a single thing to prepare that doesn't need butter flavored topping either as an ingredient or a post-preparation additive. Try it. Run out of something and then try to think of one thing that does not utilize whatever it is. It doesn't matter that you ran out of sardines, the minute you notice BANG you can't think of a single recipe that does not include sardines.

I have perfectly good potatoes I can't eat because there is not butter, some lovely broccoli that really needs to get eaten this weekend and because I still have left over from last weekend, I won't have go to the farmers market this weekend and so local produce (I am assuming, I have no idea where it comes from) will go uneaten the farmer will be left penniless and will lose his farm! I only contribute about $4 a week to his economy, but every penny counts and, now, since I have no butter, I can't eat anything, I don't need to buy additional produce from him. He's going to lose his farm and I'm going to starve to death. It's the Butter affect. A Butterfly flicks his wings and starts a hurricane off Africa, I run out of butter and cause a family farm to fail and I starve to death. It's the truth, you read it on the Internet.