Tuesday, March 25, 2008

A stranger among us

And how was your weekend?Did you have to work on Friday? Godless sodomites! Why do you hate America? Actually, the reason NC state employees get Good Friday off is that once upon a time they got Easter Monday off - And not because the State Legislature was full of Pius Catholics, but so that they and the rest of the State Employees could take off work and watch a basketball game . I kid you not. In years past, for decades, they shut down state government so everyone could watch a basketball game.

If these people could learn to take football that seriously, it would almost make it worth living here.

I just got back from the store because a couple of hours ago I got back from the dentist again, I haven’t been to the dentist in five years and now I’ve gone twice in a week and will go back two more times in the next month. I think they are in cahoots with the chiropractors - Another group that gets its jolly’s locking you into weekly appointments for the rest of your life.. I would almost rather be seeing a chiropractor, those appointments would be covered by my insurance.

I was at the store because the dentist installed an Anne Boleyn, i.e a temporary crown, in three weeks I get Elizabeth II, but in the mean time, I have to be very kind to my mouth, or really, I need to be very kind to my left uppers, nothing crunchy or that requires chewing is to pass my lips. If it requires dentition to eat, I am required to pass it up.

I’ve been doing this all ready, for weeks, I had just hoped that it wouldn’t turn into a thing. I like chewing, I like solid food. I went to the store so that I could broaden my diet beyond tuna and baked potatoes and ramon. I’ve also become a regular at Subway, I am the person who orders their soup. I am hoping that in my time away from McDonald's that they will have mercifully moved on to another Happy Meal toy. I don’t even know what movie the most recent toys came from but every single one of the was ugly. I would open my Happy Meal box and be greeted by one of a series of increasingly unappetizing ogres. Yummy. I threw them away everyday ! I have never thrown away a toy!, even toys I didn’t like, even the stupid cartoon action figures. I felt kind of bad about it but at the same time, if I thought the ogre toys were grisly, I didn’t feel right about passing them on to a kid. I say this as someone who has watched and enjoyed The Dark Crystal many times, on purpose. Sober.

So, food was shopped for. I now have a selection of hearty creamed soups, some very nice, soft, crab cakes, a six pack of fat free, sugar free pudding and a couple of bags of frozen raspberries - I have had the worst kind of raspberry jones! Have you noticed how expensive fresh raspberries are right now? I don’t know if you were smart enough to get into the raspberry futures market, but Wow! Somebody somewhere is making a freaking fortune. Those little buggers are like gold. But what can I say? The heart wants what it wants. Fortunately, my heart can also get pretty excited about frozen bags o’ raspberries too. Good thing to, because otherwise? Total heart break

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