I want ya'll to know that I went to my voting place at 6:34 this morning and I stood in line, I had to wait.


We don’t need no stink’in sleep

I am still tired. This is Doggers fault. Friday night I was supposed to close my little eyes and sleep the sleep of the exhausted or at least the sleep of someone who had worked all day and then drove for two hours. But prior to going to bed I put Dogger to bed, confident that she was going to be as comfortable in her own room in her own little bed as I was going to be with mine.

About 12:30 AM Dogger woke up and it became very important to her that she alert the household to this, and neighbors and the people on the other side of the river. She was awake and we needed to know. Doggers barking, amplified by the acoustics of the basement, took on the character of artillery fire.

I love my dog. The first time her barking woke me, I said to myself That must be the dog next door. Bad doggy! Someone should make that dog shut up and I went back to sleep, confident that it wasn’t my dog barking in the middle of the night. My dog wouldn’t do that.

barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark .

I was wide awake now and That was my dog barking. I needed to stop it and I needed to stop it now. I marched downstairs flicked on the basement light and flung the door open. Dogger was watching the garage door closely. She looked at me as to say It started it!. I looked at her and said in my fiercest whisper possible Shut up! Go Back to Sleep! . Mission accomplished I hustled myself back to my bed.

barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark .

And I went back downstairs and decided that what maybe the baby wanted was company. Granted, I know it’s a very bad idea to get them used to company when it’s bed time. It’s important for them to understand that sleeping is not a group activity - at least until college at the very earliest. But Dogger is not a baby or even a puppy for that matter. She should be able to sleep on her own, but I just wanted to sleep. I wanted the whole condo association to sleep. I decided it was a lesser evil to stage an impromptu slumber party was then it was for her to bark all night. Now I had to decide, was it worse to sleep on the carpeted concrete? or curl up on a dog bed? A clean dog bed, but a dog’s bed non-the-less. Did I mention it’s cooler in the basement then upstairs? It was . Considerably. And that unlike the dog I do not have a heavy coat of fur. I think there is a reason humans invented the bed. The floor is cold and we just do not have enough fur.

I (tried) to sleep. Dogger was sleeping.. I lay there and tried to figure out what she was barking at, maybe she was alerted by kids on night maneuvers or maybe there was a fisherman out night fishing who had since moved on. She seemed okay and I was drifting off.; But never so far away that I didn’t know the floor was cold or that I was using a dog’s bed as pillow. Yes, I am a princess. Dogger had been still for a long time and I missed my own bed.

I went back up to my room. And all was quite.

barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark .

Like a freaking ack-ack gun. Like she wanted to alert us that we were being attacked by Nazi’s with ack-ack guns. I went back downstairs and told her again to SHUT UP. This time however, I came prepared. I had a blanket and a pillow. I meant business damn it. I wasn’t going to go down there and babysit her. I was going to stay on the stairs. Where it was warm and carpeted... Have you ever tried to sleep on stairs? The fact that hey are carpeted have very little to do with their appropriate-ness as bedding. They are stairs. They are uncomfortable.

Saturday night, Dogger slept inside the house and we all slept through the night.