Weeds

I thought I could “root” myself a nice honeysuckle plant if I were to take a cutting and put it in water and be nice to it. I thought it would act like a potato. It did not. It died. Do you know what under normal circumstance you have to do to kill a honeysuckle plant? Neither do I! You can’t kill honeysuckle! It’s kudzu with a better wardrobe!

And yet I did. I killed a botanical cockroach. And I did it out of love.

I had to do it because you can’t buy honeysuckle. If you go to a nursery and ask them where the honeysuckle plants are they point around to the back of the building by the wall where the store keeps its dumpster – There is the honeysuckle, but they won’t sell it to you. They will sell you messy, dirty, stinky trumpet vine and English Ivy, but they will not sell you honeysuckle. “It takes over” they say, to which I answer “Good! I want it to take over! I want it to make the drug dealers abandoned house disappear! I want it to make the DMV building vanishes from sight!” If it wants to eat the oak tree, it can do that too. The limb dropping, yard polluting SOB.

They will sell you ivy, “If you are looking for something that would climb, how about nice ivy”, well, ivy also “takes over”, big time and provides cover for vermin and kills trees. But ivy, they’ll sell to you no questions asked.

You can’t buy morning glories either. You can buy Morning Glory seeds but they won’t sell you morning glory plants. “It’s a weed” they sniff when asked for it. “It grows wild” they add and it’s a “non-native plant”. So are my tomato plants andeveryone wants to sell you a tomato plant. Really, go somewhere, any where and try not to buy a tomato plant. Everywhere you go you are assaulting by tomato plants. And I like tomato plants! I planted tomatoes! I don’t even eat tomatoes and I planted them. If you have a garden you have tomatoes planted in it. It’s a law.

Sigh. Speaking of being assaulted by the unwanted. Anyone not over Hillary raise your hands. I guess for some she is a morning glory and for others she is ivy. I need her to stop running before I forget how much affection I have for her. I really lurve Bill Clinton, like a whole lot and this campaign is making me not lurve him. I need the Hill and Bill show to go on hiatus so I can start to miss them. I can’t miss them if I can’t miss them.

I just had a thought. The political conventions lately have received are really really crummy ratings. You don’t think the networks are paying them to keep this whole thing rolling until then? I mean a real showdown at the convention would be a ratings gold mine! Remember "The Whole World’s Watching” chants? The whole world really will be watching. Do we need to see the DNC smacking itself over the head with police batons and sucking tear gas? If Hillary doesn’t get out, gracefully, and soon … We will.