Thursday, May 14, 2009


I'm itchy. Itchy, itchy, itchy. I'm making myself kind of crazy here. I have four theories of why I am this way.

Theory 1 - I am spending too much time visiting with the garden. There isn't a great deal of work right now, I did a lot of work before so that I wouldn't have to do it now. Since I don't need to work on the garden I get to spend quality time with instead :  I visit it. I go out in the morning before I go to work and have conversations with it: Good Morning little plants! How are you? Are you good little plants? Are you Mama's good little plants? How's Mama's good little plants? Are you going to grow today? Are Mama's plants going to grow today? Yes you are! You are going to grow today! Mama has to go to work now, you big good little plants! Bye-Bye!

After work I go to visit with the garden again after the animals have all been fed and played with.  I pull whatever suicidal teeny weedlets are making themselves oblivious and add more egg shells and poison as necessary. There isn't much conversation. The issue is, my backyard is full of mosquitoes. Full, they are like a curtain! It just looks like its screened in but it isn't! Its like the freaking Phillipines back there. The more time I spend out there the more time I spend being itchy. Theory 1: Saturation

Theory 2 :  It's dry. Never mind the rain, my world is parched, My house and office are veritable Sahara's. I went to the eye doctor the other day and she announced that my eyes are dry.  She told me that a side effect of my advanced years would be a certain amount of dryness and she suggested fish oil pills and KY jelly, Kidding! She suggested eye drops but it was what she meantI think my eyes were dry because I splashed poison in them ( I got some new and improved poison that is actually supposed to kill things that are exposed to it.And cause blindness. Big change from the last stuff that promised to ecologically neutral and mildly insulting to garden pests. I'm not counting the ladybugs because they died before they had a chance to go lady bugs of war on anything. Pity) and so I held them under running waste for twenty minutes and I think that was why my eyes were dry the next day. Humph.  My skin is also dry  and I don't drink anywhere near enough water. I drink a hell of a lot of green tea, which is great but its not water. Theory 2: Dehydration.

Theory 3 : I got the vets okay to put Frontline on Dogger and now whatever was on her is on me. This is the least attractive theory. I haven't actually seen any beasties and there weren't any in evidence when I bathed her but she's now covered in flea napalm and I am itchy. Theory 3 : Infestation.

Theory 4 : Detergent Allergy. I've used the same stuff for months and months and nothing happened but all of a sudden  I'm allergic to it. Theory 4 - Rationalization.

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