Num,num, num

I just finished baking cookies and my house smells so good! I need to bake people cookies more often. Usually when I bake, I bake for dogs and my house reeks of garlic. For days.

The smell was the nicest thing about those cookies. Martha Stewart can kiss my ass. Now I know what the recipe called for belt-and-suspenders coverage when it came to the dough. It called for parchment paper and Pam and flour and it didn't take me long to  figure out why. Gawd. over peanut buttered dog cookie dough has nothing on Martha dough.

Pain in the ass dough. Total pain in the ass dough. Sticky and crumbly AT THE SAME TIME! I think that's quite an accomplishment for dough. A pain in the ass accomplishment. A horror just a horror. I tried really hard to do what Martha wanted to. I refrigerated the dough  over night  which turned the dough in into rocks. Rocks are so easy to roll out. Just fabulous, I  nuked the rocks and got them to a state where they could be rolled out as directed.

Sigh

I worked really on on the first dozen shaped cookies. I was sad. I was tired and  I was sad. Martha's cookies made me sad. Martha was mean to me. Bad Martha.

I called my Mommy and told her to make Martha stop being mean to me. My mother told me to step away from the cookie cutter and to stop the madness. She suggested I get the mess into a lump and then spoon the dough up and then squish it and forget trying to cut it into shapes. I stepped away from the Martha and grabbed a spoon.

The recipe claimed it made eight dozen. It did not. It made about two and a half dozen and even then my cookies were smaller than the suggested 3 1/2  inch cookies that Martha wanted. This made me panicky, when I make dog cookies I average about 144+ per batch so this forty or so cookies seemed really wrong and  wasteful. I had to step away from the dog cookie comparisons and embrace the people cookies I did get and do you know what I got? sugar cookies! they're just sugar cookies! All this for sugar cookies! Martha should burn in hell.