Bake, Bake, Bake

I finished Operation Barn Yard and the pigs were not my friends. The last time I made bacon cookies I experimented with grinding the bacon  up in the blender and while I was not thrilled with the results, I should have repeated the experiment. I had a hell of a time trying to roll the dough out thin enough to make it worth my while but not so thin it sprung holes. The other doughs do not spring holes damn it.

The dough just sucked all around,  first it was too dry and then it was too wet and then it wouldn't get doughy and it stayed kind of crumbly and it was just not fun. it was too nasty even for the Kitchen Aid to whip into shape and the Kitchen Aid can be a real fascist when it comes to getting its job done. Kitchen Aid wears pointy boots and enjoys your pain. I am very nice to Kitchen Aid.

And then I tried to turn that badly behaved dough into pigs. The pig cutter looks like a pig, it's very cute, very piggy. Sadly, when the cutter hit the dough what it cut out was less cute, the little ear was hard to get right and the pig tail was a nightmare and kept getting nipped off no matter how carefully I pressed down the cutter and pulled away the dough. I did not have this problem with the cows! Subsequently, to my eye, very few  of my pigs came out looking like pigs, they looked like bears, bears with very poor posture.

I was very worried about my herd as I put them into the oven, I was seeing a lot of bacon flavored bears and only a few piggies and that that was not working with my theme. Beef flavored cows, chicken flavored chicks, parsley/mint flavored bunnies and pork flavored pigs! I don't know what bear taste like or if its is available in the baking aisle at the grocery and  I don't want to have to  have an addendum stuffed into every bag explain what those weird bear-pig things are supposed to be. Porky the Bear! Nooooo!

 There are no barn yard bears! My cows looked like cows the bunnies looked like bunnies and even the chicks look  pretty much avian. They do not look like bears. Thankfully when the pig-bears came out of the oven they came out looking shockingly pig-like, well, a vast majority looked piggy, a few still looked like very pig-like bears. But pig-like. More oinking than whatever noise bears make.

And really, I do know that the dogs care only that the bacon flavored cookies taste like bacon and they could care less about the fact that they look like bears with bad posture. I know that, but the people  who hopefully will buy them will know that my some of my pigs look like bears with bad posture and that I do worry about.