Getting my  holiday on

I have been feeling decidedly ennui-tastic about getting the tree decorated. I want to do it but to do it I have to bring approximately  sixty tons of stuff down from the attic and that means the out door lights need to be put up and all the Santa's brought down and it just seems like so much work... I just don't have the energy

But then when I do deal with it, its just going to look exactly like it did last year and the year before that and why bother? I like the way my tree looks but I could also just look at pictures and get the same effect without all the work. And I would do that. I would sit there and look at a picture.Clearly, I needed to do something.

So the tree stands there. Dark. Its upright, pre-lit and in the right place but its just standing there and it makes me sad. I think I'm lonely for my old tree, the unlit, greatly shedding, mess making, eleven year old tree. My first tree for my first apartment!. The tree I hefted up three flights of stairs and  then carted across the country.I got it and Tex at the same time and lost them at the same time. Sigh.

I needed help. I decided that what I need is for the tree to look different. I want to cheat on my decorations. I want a younger, hotter, blonder version of what I have now. And I figured out how: I would buy new garland! Sexy, sexy garland! This would change everything! It would put the magic back in our relationship! So I went to Wal-Mart. Do you have any idea how much Wal-Mart charges for tree garland! I was shocked. They wanted $5 for 15 feet! I was like What do you mean? $5!? Screw that! Do you have any idea how sad it is to go to Wally World and  see something you want and have to say to yourself I can't afford that?

It sucks.

I went on to Poverty Barn and found nicer garland $7 for 35 feet. And then I had to over think what color of garland I wanted. There was neat green garland with  shiny little paper lights but it was green and so is my tree and I looked at some red garland with little candy canes and then there was blue garland with snow flakes.This posed a dilemma. I'm a Blue person; Red makes me uncomfortable, it comes with so much baggage and issues... But. I didn't like the blue garland and I did like the red garland and then I had an epiphany : Are you  trying to inject partisan politics into my Christmas tree? Are you making my Christmas tree about red state v. blue state bile? Are you Sarah Palening my holiday? Oh No! You will not politicize my tree!

I bought the pretty red garland and put it on the tree and it looks fab, and it will set off my  awesome talking Obama ornament very nicely.