Dog Days

Last weekend when I picked up my glasses I was so excited I went into Crate and Barrel and bought an over priced cookie cutter in honor of the event. It is a very well designed ice cream cone complete with cross hatching on the cone and undulating lines indicating where the ice cream is located - all in all adorable and probably worth every cent of the $2 they charged for it.

There should be an asterisk next to the "adorable" and "ice cream cone".  It is adorable in theory,  in practice unless you are working with a very thick dough, which I do not with dog cookies, the cookie cutter makes a not adorable sperm cookie! The finished product looks like it should be staring in an animated after school special  about fertilization! I expected the cookies to break into song at anytime.

Can't you just hear the peppy little jazz inspired ditty about looking for the egg? and the challenges of out swimming the other spermatozoa?
On the upside, I rarely give Dogger treats out in public so there should not be an questions or shocked response on viewing. But if there was, I could always claim it is a tad pole. Why on earth I would feed my dog tad pole shaped cookies or why anyone would design and sell tadpole cookies cutters remains beyond me but it would be a clever "out" if I needed one. Although, I could imagine a very cute series of cookie cutters illustrating the life cycle of the amphibian. It would be popular among little boys I would imagine, they could make little tadpole cookies and little frogs with tails and the finally full on frogs! I still don't think any one wants spermatozoa cookies.

 If there were any witnesses to my sperm cookies, I don't think my explanation of wanting the dog to have seasonally shaped cookies would go over in any way that I would not end up looking disturbed. I could explain that  Of course my dog recognizes the change in season and of course she demands to have seasonally appropriate cookies! I mean, My Gawd, doesn't your dog? Well then your dog is just not very bright isn't it and you don't love it enough. Clearly.  Better to look like a bitch than a person who makes seasonally appropriate dog treats for her dog because she thinks the dog cares. Hmm, how about a line  of tee shirts that say My dog is a bitch and so am I!

I am so full of ideas. Why am I not rich?

Before I made cookies I gave Dogger a much needed bath and I was relived to discover that the conditioner I bought for myself that seemed to be of very good quality but didn't work at all for me (could this be why I was able to buy it at Poverty Barn?) did work well on her. If you want to buy doggy conditioner at the store you get charged a fortune for it. I think its a test. If you are gullible enough to buy dog specific fur conditioner then you are stupid enough to spend a lot of money on it and you should be charged accordingly and if you have the money to buy doggy specific conditioner you most likely would only respect the product if it was over priced. A discounted doggy conditioner would not sell because if you would  buy  discount doggy conditioner, you would not be in the market for doggy conditioner in the first place. The big box dog supply places know this and they never put it on sale.