Friday, May 6, 2011

Puppy Days

The smallest little girl across the street told me she wishes her nine week old puppy was as nice as my nine year old dog. Which is sweet, but kind of sad especially if she had known Dogger as a puppy.

Dogger was a terrible puppy! She was wild and hard to handle and we spent a year in puppy kindergarten!  Normal puppies spend six weeks and move on to a puppy Masters Program and then if they are really good , at the end of that same year, they get a puppy Doctorate. At the end of the year, Dogger was still eating paste.

I just wasted valuable blogging time trying to search my archive for a list or lists of things Dogger ate as a puppy. Its an extensive list and as I remember included everything from the TV remote to my favorite bra and this was a puppy who was crated a lot. When she was free, she ate everything she could get her jaws around, when she was in her crate she only ate what she could reach , which was coincidentally, still almost everything as even as a puppy she had an amazing wing span. Sher could be a raptor.

The little girl is petting Dogger and going on about what a great dog she is and how she never barks! She clearly hasn't been around Dogger very often. I was like  doesn't bark? Where are you at 4:30 AM when she protects me from the paper delivery woman? Or when she alerts me that your loser father and his loser friends are out front chatting at 2:30 in the morning? Never barks? Never stops!

I told her if she wants the puppy to stop its yapping, she needs to pay attention to it! I told her to go pet her own dog! If she spent as much time being sweet on her dog as she does being sweet on mine, she would have an entirely different puppy. One that didn't yap every moment of every day. I didn't know that pit bulls had it in them to yap! I thought you could mix a Chiwawa with a pit bull and it would still bark like a real dog. I was so wrong.

She told me her dad is going to sell the puppy because no one likes it. I think everyone including the puppy will be much happier,  I'll be sad because when the puppy isn't yapping I want to eat him. I don't matter, the puppy will overjoyed to be almost anywhere else.

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