Yesterday I ride my bike to the Krispy Kreme and today I walked Dogger to the post office. The post office is closer but today I didn't come home with donuts. Urban Hell Hole my eye, anytime you can ride your bike to the Krispy Kreme you are living right. Try that out in Cookie Cutter-ton or Builder Beige-ville.
Anyway, I was walking Dogger down New Bern Avenue and we passed a fence covered in Honeysuckle, old established honeysuckle, and I got to thinking how hard would it be just to dig one of these plants up? They don't belong to anybody and who would know? Prolly Mr. Police Officer who would be rolling past and wonder what I was doing.
Mr. Police Officer - Ma'am
Me - May I help you?
What are you doing?
Me - I am digging up this honeysuckle.
Do you have permission?
Me - I would say this is consensual
Ma'am, I'm not sure they plant is fit to make that decision, you need to speak with the owner of the property.
Me- It belongs to the city of Raleigh and I am a citizen of the city of Raleigh and I am taking my plant home, but first I am Occupying this sidewalk! The Bank of America is bad for America! This is what Democracy Looks like!
Ma'am, step away from the fence
Me -(handcuffing self to fence) We Shall Overcome....
I imagine a tense stand off until the cops get a routine call about a drunk passed out at the gas station. This drunk is inevitably going to require three and a half hours, four cop cars all with lights and sirens, a hook and ladder truck with lights and sirens, a EMS first responder mustang with a siren and an mass casualty level ambulance with its own marching band escort to properly take care of.
The cop leaves, but not before doing that V thing eyes-on-you with his fingers . At this point I tell him he would be better eye-on-ing the drug dealers on Pettigrew that harassing me for getting my urban gardening on. I tell him if he wants to take either of us into custody, he'll know where to find me because my yard will be the best smelling yard in the neighborhood.
I dig up my plant and its huge, healthy root ball and about twelve feet of flowering vines and head home. Elly smells divine for weeks.