Thursday, September 4, 2014

Eating Out

I went to Burger King for lunch on Tuesday. Snuff with your rage, I needed an original BK chicken sandwich and onion rings. I didn't even remember the messed up my order and are  treasonous corporate tax cheats until after I refilled my drink and was headed out the door.

Why was I distracted from thoughts of appropriate punishment of treasonous corporate tax cheats and serial order foulers?

I ordered my food, which they got wrong, is it so hard to not put mayonnaise on everything? Did I ask for salad in addition to my chicken? I did not. I asked for a #8 plain and dry. It was not plain, it was not dry. I had to sacrifice one of my onion rings to scrape everything off it. Fortunately, the batter they use on the rings render them excellent mayonnaise scrapers. They stay firm and they stand up to  the oily wetness

I was not thinking about that either. I try not to think about how often  these places get my order wrong, if I were to spend time thinking about this, I would think about little else.  I eat at these places so rarely anymore, it would be great if they could not fuck up my order ever. single. time.

Instead of  serial poor customer service and treasonous corporate tax cheats, I was thinking how a staffer came out to my table, I was eating outside to escape the constant bleating and dinging and buzzing endemic to fast food restaurants and was finding the sound of bus farts,  jabber from packs of wandering under grads and  truck exhaust soothing in comparison. The staffer bussed my table, gave me a book of coupons and a handful of after dinner mints.

I was shocked. So shocked I didn't think to complain about my botched order or her employer's status as treasonous tax cheats. She bussed my table and gave me mints!  While I was eating outside! She took my trash away so I didn't have to.

She treated me like an actual real person dining at an actual real restaurant and I forgave Burger King for fucking up my order and being treasonous corporate tax cheats. One staffer doing the right thing. Who knew? I walked out of there with positive thoughts about them despite the fact I should be boycotting them for being tax cheats and the fact they inevitably fuck up my order.

One employee being nice. Instead of obsessing over my fucked up order and their status as treasonous corporate tax cheats I walked out of there thinking positive thoughts about them. The order fucking up, treasounce corportate tax cheats. Clearly, the good thoughts were for a limited time only... But I walked out of there and did not burn the store down. I  still see that as a win for customer service and sadly, for the treasonous corporate tax cheats and serial order fucker uppers.

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