Something


I was hoping that TV Guide would have been kind enough to post the winners of their little TV award show thing last night but those low lives are totally disavowing it and I couldn’t find the results online. If I had known I was supposed to watch it to learn that stuff I would have skipped it entirely. I really tried to watch it, George Lopez seems like an okay guy, good speaking voice and he looks like he lost weight. But.

The bit of the show I did watch was a like a televised blow job. They awarded everything! Crap? Got an award, God Awful Tripe? Got an Award, Scenery Chewing On A Massive Scale? Vincent Deonfrio Got An Award.

I had to keep muting it so I missed stuff. I think there was some award for reality TV, so I muted, there was some mention of something else that scared me so I muted. I muted a lot of the part I watched. Damn that TV guide for making it so hard to snark on their awards! And it wasn’t even the official TV Guide Awards, it was just some year end media hand job.

Don’t they think about the hard working bloggers out there that need a new entry every day? That are always looking for a new thing to snark over? They have no respect for the art form. None whatsoever. Legitimate Media Fascists

I mean if you’re going to hand out pretend awards you could at least make a list and post it. They must be very ashamed. The Golden Globes™ post their results and most of them don’t even have Internet access. It’s about respecting your audience.

After looking at the sorry excuse for a TV guide my local paper carries I see that what I watched was officially called TV Guide: Greatest Moments 2003 Wow. There was a huge amount of bad TV Moments in 2003. There was a handful of passable TV Moments, I do not remember enough Greatest Moments anything on TV in 2003. They used two whole hours to show 20 Great Moments. They handed out some hand jobs and I guess swooned over how great TV is. Whatever.

The Dog and Kitty Show

The fam was all here and I was hoping that Dogger would show off all she learned in Puppy School. Her final exam so to speak. What she really learned in Puppy School:

1. To pee on the floor, repeatedly
2. To eat the foam cover on the back yard spigot
3. To turn on the back yard spigot
4. To Yank on her leash
5. To Not Sit on Command
6. To Not Lay Down on Command
7. To Not Stay on Command

Yes, those six weeks in the dark and cold, dodging cars in the pet store parking lot, Dogger successfully learned to do nothing.

Today on our walk?

- She did not yank on her leash
- She sat on Command
- She laid down on Command
- She stayed on Command

She was perfect. Grrrrrr Arrrrrgggghhhhhh.

Oh, and for my perfect dog? The Perfect Toy. It is a plastic handle with a cup at one end. The ball goes into the cup. It makes it so you can throw the ball a long way with out having to touch the ball. It also lets me, who throws like a special girl, really throw the ball hard and far. You throw your arm back, kind of serving a ball, like you would in tennis – with out all the ball touching and actual tennis playing, Dogger didn’t know what hit her. She’s never had to run that far to fetch a ball. She had the best time. The Best Time from The Best Toy. It’s called the Chuck it, Junior. The senior Chuck It would let you throw a ball like a rocket.
www.chuckit.com