Gawd these people! I swear if I get one more dirty look because the copy machine is jammed I am going to hurt somebody!

Yes, the machine is not working. NO I didn’t do “it”. In fact I spent way more time than was productive on my knees trying to fish the jam out. It is not reachable; the machine is not going to work until we get the jam out. The repair guy has been called. He will or will not be here this afternoon.

Yes in an emergency, the fax machine can and will act as a copier – for one or two things! Do not put 100 sheets of paper in it! Do not ask me where the collate feature is! Do not look at me like that. Do not assume I care why you have to make those copies right now!, I am not Rob Schneider, I am not the copy machines’ keeper. I do not enjoy talking to you about the copy machine.

Use the other copy machine. Is the other copy machine also out of services? Life sucks for you. Go back to your desk and do something else. You must have something else to do. Is this all you have to do? Go update your resume, because surely, you are on the way out.