Sound and Fury

I came home from work and took Dogger outside, I’m starting to get afraid that she has forgotten why I take her outside. She goes outside but then she just kind of wanders around aimlessly while I prod her to do something, anything, usually in vain. She’s not looking for somewhere to pee, she’s looking for a good place to lay down - And I’m trying to be cool with this. I sit next to her and pet on her and make encouraging noises about nothing, and then I out of habit, go get her tie down to secure her . It’s kind of pointless at this stage of the game but it makes me feel better to think she could wander away .

While she's doing what I choose to see as basking, I water the plants or sit on the steps and read a catalogue and worry about her and she eventually decides she wants to go back inside for dinner. It’s depressing but its better than the alternative.

Last night, I’m sitting on the steps reading a magazine and Dogger is snuffing around and out of nowhere, it thunders, not at a distance, not somewhere else, directly over head. I shrieked like a scalded cat and Dogger found the wherewithal to dive under the azalea plant. I tore down the steps to rescue Dogger and  I noticed the workers next door staring at us. The workers next door didn’t scream or dive under the shrubs.

The really bad thing about the thunder experience is that the a couple of hours later when I tried to get her outside she refused and the time after that, while she agreed to go outside she would not stay. She needs to go to the loo! When you get a pet they never tell you that you will eventually be worrying about things like this. No its all Here’s your puppy! Go have the most fun evar!. There is so much that isn’t fun.

You know what else isn't fun? rideing my bike around the neighborhood by myself instead of walking with Dogger. I am the girl with the dog, I am the girl who walks that dog. It is my identity, it’s my role and now? I’m just some girl on a bike. Walking Dogger made me stand out - Granted, in this neighborhood, especially right after I moved here, the dog wasn’t the only thing that made me stand out, but the dog made me approachable; People who would have never spoken to me, ran up to pet the dog or offer advice on dog management. Having Dogger at my side was a great conduit for getting to know my neighbors or at least their kids, while making everyone comfortable. A dog is a great equalizer. I have yet to ride past a house and have a crowd of kids come out to coo at my bike. I want my dog back.