At work we have parties in the months that team members have birthdays. Its lame. What we should do is buy a Happy-Birthday-From-All-Of-Us card, get it signed and leave it at that. It would be tidy, nice and mostly trouble free. That would be great.
But we can't have that. We have to plan a party. We don't really like each other and we don't really want to spend our free time together. We drew last winter and I got November - which at the time made me very happy because November seemed very far away and I was happy I wouldn't have to deal with this for a long time. Time flies when you are not having fun too.
Its not far away now. Far away has turned into Thursday and I had also thought that it was going to be at the end of the month, its not, its this week. Super. The birthday girl this time around is my very least favorite co-worker. Of course it is! I couldn't get a month with someone I actually like, that would be too easy and I might actually enjoy doing this. We can't have that.
I dutifully presented myself at my co-workers door and asked her what she would like for her party. She replied that because she's on Atkins and can't have gluten any way, that she would just watch us eat, because she can't have chips ort salsa or any of those things. Sigh . So I said Okay! and asked her if she can eat chicken, she can by the way and I made a note to get to Chik Fil A ASAP and order her a tiny platter . I decided that that cow will eat at her own party and made another note to investigate my cake options. I then went to ask what everyone else wanted to bring.
I do have cake options. They make gluten free cake mixes available at your local market and I looked up sugar free frosting to frost the cake with. By the way, if you were curious, Vanilla Extract is gluten free - Score! So I can include it in my sugar free frosting as well as the cake! So that it will not taste entirely like cardboard.
I was so excited about this because because the cake mix called for gluten free vanilla which I looked that up and learned that it is very expensive and while I am all about making a point a point which incidentally involves making a home made birthday cake my bitchy co-worker. Which is kind of cutting off my nose to spite my face. I dislike her so I am going out of my way for her? I hope Santa is watching, I want credit for this. But do I get credit for spiteful do-gooding? I'm only doing this to cut her passive aggressive bitchiness off at the pass. No, I still want credit.