Wednesday, January 26, 2011

2011 Oscar Nominations

Best Picture

Black Swan - I've heard this is really good and that Portman is outstanding. Did I mention that college taught me to hate dancers? They are banana clip wearing prima donnas who can't be bothered to build their own sets or sell their own tickets and think costumes grow on trees.  Brats. I hear this is also about mental illness, so I am assuming this is a dance documentary.

The Fighter -  Poor Irish kids in a Boston suburb turn to boxing and meth sales to support their birth control echewing families.

Inception -  Leo Dicaprio and a green screen team up to fight crime.,

The Kids Are All Right  - Gay parents raise children that are just as douchebaggy/conflicted/over praised as het parents!

The King's Speech - The King has a speech impediment and goes to a speech pathologist. Prevails over speech impediment and Nazism. (will win)

127 Hours - Male  hiker cuts off own arm before he asks for directions.

The Social Network - Facebook inventors learn about privacy settings the hard way. (will win for Director)

Toy Story 3 -  You grow up and put the toys away and it makes the toys sad or not.

True Grit - Cowboys shoot each other and beat on a child who kills one of them and grows up to be more of a man than any of them. (Best Adapted Screen play)

Winter's Bone - A girl goes and searches for her scum bag meth addict father so he can help them not lose the meth house they call home.

Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale, The Fighter - I really liked him as a child actor. He is now a douchebag.
John Hawkes, Winter's Bone - The run away meth addict or one of his kids.
Jeremy Renner, The Town  - Not actually something they put together as a show within the show for Entourage.
Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right  - The all right sperm behind the all right kids. (If he wins, Benning won't)
Geoffery Rush, The King's Speech - A lot nicer than Henry Higgens

Best Supporting Actress

Amy Adams, The Fighter -  She just won, she needs to sit out a year.
Helena Bonham Carter, The King's Speech - The dress she wore to the Golden Globes was offensive.
Melissa Leo, The Fighter - Totally cornered the market on White Trash women.
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit - Killed the bad guy, kicked butt, did not die at the end. (will win - its her first time out and she's a child.A BSA shoe-in)
Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom - No idea at all. Don't know why she's here, assuming as sop to snobby New York Times  movie reviewers who are the only people who have seen this film.

Best Actor

Javier Bardem, Biutiful - Title miss-spelled, out of running.
Jeff Bridges, True Grit - Just won this last year, good for him though.
Jessie Eisenberg, The Social Network - He's hosting SNL this weekend.
Colin Firth, The King's Speech - Good chance he's going to win, the Academy loves a good handicap and really loves films about defeating Nazis.
James Franco, 127 Hours - I feel like this guy has been doing the  worlds longest Performance Art piece of all time. Stop all ready. He wants a Day Time Emmy and an Oscar?

Best Actress

Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right - Look! Look I'm acting! See! Still!
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole - Too much botox, can't even looked grieved.
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter's Bone - The Meth addicts daughter.
Natalie Portman, Black Swan - Probably going to win.
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine - Really? She plays a sad, put upon woman who suffers for love? Really? Again.

Best Director

Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan - Will get profuse thanks from very pregnant Natalie Portman
David O. Russell, The Fighter - Academy will send him a fruit basket for not killing Christian Bale.
Tom Hooper, The King's Speech  Film will win for Best Picture .
David Fincher, The Social Network - Will win.
Joel Coen/Ethan Coen, True Grit - Will win best adapted screen play.

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