Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Deep breaths

I noticed when I was awake this morning at 3:20am, I remembered that I was also awake at this same time Monday.

It was not stress related, it was strong wind related. I was woken up both mornings by strong, strong winds. Gusts, strong, prolonged blows.  The kind of wind that makes me grateful my car is parked under a roof and that that roof is so far, hanging on. This morning I woke up with a cat laying across my throat, clearly,  Dogger has taught him about her enemy.

Baby Kitty and I lay there and listened to what I hope was not pieces of my roof pealing off. I was glad my bike was hiding in my car. Finally, about 4am, it stopped and I removed the cat from my neck and went back to sleep.

I went outside later in the morning to check to make sure that everything was where I left it, I had st my recycling bag in an earlier wind storm and I was curious to see what I lost this time. In all that wind, in all that naked force the only thing out of place was my watering can. I walked the dog expecting to see some sign that something happened, that I did not dream the wind - that it was not in fact an interesting new manifestation of  stress in dream form. The cat was not afraid of my dream, was he? Was I being awake enough to make the cat afraid? Or was my cat trying to kill me? He was on my throat, he was not moving and his purring could have been a ploy to lull me to sleep so he could do me in?

True, while he was I was holding him in place and I do out weigh him by a considerable amount so if I had to I could throw him across the room without much effort, if I saw fit to or felt that for some reason my life might be in danger. But I'm pretty sure I would just suffocate on his fur because he's just so cute when he's disciplining me. Stay there! Don't Move! You moved! I punish you now puny feeder! See! I'm walking away!, no more fluffy lurve for you!

I mean, he has me trained well. After two years of living with me, he has just learned how to jump in my lap to sit on my lap while I watch TV and since I want to teach him that this is a positive thing, I do nothing once he is there. As long as he is up there I do not move. Not for anything, I don't go to the bathroom, scratch,  jump and  do something about the massive cramp eating my leg, less I startle him -  I don't answer the phone, and if the remote slips, well, I'll just watch this channel forever won't I? I'm always afraid that if I do get up, he might decide that this is just too much trouble and he would rather just hang out on the arm of the couch instead, with his back turned.

He's all Take a deep breath will you? Think that your needs are more important than mine? You should have taken care of  those things earlier.If you weren't comfortable you should have figured out before you warmed the blanket up. I'm here now. I could at any moment go and keep the arm of the couch warm instead. You know, if I had any interest in learning how to feed myself, I would have bounced by now. That is what you mean to me,  you are nothing more than a fountain of kibble.

I do whatever I can to make sure the fountain remains free and clear of debris.

No comments: